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Jaydeep
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| | Sunday, May 30, 2004 - 9:33 am: | 
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hi friends, apalya sagalyana ha problem yet asel, may be problem la face karava lagala nasel. pan tumache kahi anubhav asatil tar sanga. ha subject start karun apan kahitari changala marg kadhu shakato.
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sausvaagatma\ Jaydeep ihtgaujavar Aaplao hadI-k svaagat Aaho. ihtgauja tÔo- tumhalaa hI CÜiTXaI BaoT.
ihtgaujacyaa sava- ivaBaagaanaa AvaXya BaoT Va.
kahI madt laagalaI tr ja$r saaMgaa.
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Good that u started this subject. I am not as experienced as other people as my kids r too small for getting married and I myself got married with my best-friend/classmate. So I did not know the hastles in the arrange marriage process but recently we r looking for my cousine sister, and the experience we r having r surprisingly shocking or funny. Both matrimonial agencies and boy's parents r kind of unpredictable. I will write in detail soon. But I am really surprised and feel bad to see that we r going nowhere with this procedure rather there is no change in this process and attitude of people for YEARS after YEARS!
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Mipuneri
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| | Tuesday, June 01, 2004 - 3:41 am: |
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hi Jaydeep i dont know ki its good or bad to start this BB here but yah i wold like to share experiences...maglya varshi amchya kade agadi vyavsthit mazya lagnachi charcha vagaire chalu hoti (mai abhi bhi kuwari hu)aso teva mala nehamich sudaivane kinva durdaivane mala sagali out of india ch STHALE yet hoti n mule ithe nahit pan tyanche parents bhetayala yenar ani agadi mothya toryat sangayache ki amahala short listing karayache ahe mulaga yayachya aat ani believe me te khup manala lagayache ki muli mhanje kahi general vastu ahe ka nai ho tya parents shi bolun mi kay tyana dombal convience karnar ahe mazyabaddal..aso mala he nahi patal so ithe takale..bakichayana kahi vegale vatat asel tar nakki aple anubhav ithe taka...
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Nvgole
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| | Tuesday, June 01, 2004 - 4:46 am: |
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[qao kaya vaacaNaarÆ [qao tr imaMga`jaIÊ [Mga`jaI ilaihNaaroca Aahot....
baIÊ tumhI maqaLa dovanaagarIt krvaUna Gaotlaat. tumhI trI....
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iktI-Ê tU mhNatosa to malaa AgadI pTla karNa haca AnauBava AamhIhI Gaot AahÜt. iktIhI AaiNa iktItrI AaQauinak
ivacaarsarNaIcao mhNavaNaaro laÜk pi~ka nakÜ itt@yaa baarkanao phatat³iknvaa to karNa puZo krtat´. maulaakDcao
laÜk AapNahuna kÜNaaXaI sampk- saaQat naahIt mhNajao pi~kaÊ ÔÜTÜ pazvau ka ivacaarNyaasaazI AapNaca ÔÜna
krayacaaÊ tI maaihtIsah pazvalyaavar imaLlaI ka ivacaarayalaa AapNaca ÔÜna krayacaaÊ prt qaÜD\yaa idvasaanaI
pi~k jauLto kI naahI ivacaarayalaa AapNaca sampk- saaQaayacaa³jauLt nasaola tr Ìpyaa Aamacyaa maulaIcaa
ÔÜTÜ prt pazvaa hI ivanantIhI AapNaca krayacaI´. mhNajao lagnaacaI garja hI Ô> maulaIlaaca iknvaa maulaIkDcyaa
laÜkaMMnaaca Aaho ka Asa vaaTtÆ prt ATI tr evhZ\yaa BaarI Asatat kI Krca AXaI kÜNaI maulagaI Aist%vaat
Aaho ka ha p`XNa pDtÜ. AaiNa tU mhnTlyaap`maaNao prdoXaatuna Ô> lagnaakrta maulaI phaNyaasaazI yaoNaaáyaa
maulaancaa AaiNa %yaancyaahI poxaa %yaancyaa AavaiDlaancaa qaaT kahI inaraLaca²
gammat mhNajao malaa (a laÜkanXaI samBaaYaNa ksa sau$ krayaca maaiht nasalyaanao iknvaa kuzlyaa gaÜYTInaa
p`aQaanya VayacaÊ kuzlyaa AaQaI saangaayacyaa vagaOro maaiht nasalyaanao maI AaQaI maulaIcaa³maaJyaa maavasabaihNaIcaa´
r>gaTÊ iXaxaNaÊ svaBaavaÊ CndÊ Aavaidla kuTumba ksao Aaho vagaOro iknvaa kuzlyaa iÔlD maQao naÜkrI
krto vagaOro saangat basaayacaI AaiNa XaovaTI %yaancaa p`XNa Asaayacaa kI maulagaI kÜkNasqa kI doXasqaÆ
mhNajao yaa p`XNaasamaÜr saarkahI AjaunahI gaÝNa Aaho ho maaJyaa laxaat Aala. nantr maa~ ÔÜna kolaa kI
pihla vaa@ya baÜlaayaca maulagaI doXasqa AahoÊ puZo baÜlaU kaÆ yaatUna gaaDI puZo sarklaI tr maaJa naava³maI
itcaI maavasabaihNa naa´ AaD yaayacaÊ sankÜLI mhNajao kÜNa mahar kI maangaÆ Aata maulaIcyaa maavasabaihNaInao
15 vaYaa-puvaI- Aaplyaa psantInao AaiNa dÜnhI Garcyaa laÜkancyaa AaiXavaa-danao AantrjaatIya ivavaah kolaaÊ
tÜ pNa saarsvat maulaabarÜbar³maasaaharIÊ Aajakala kÜNa naa^navaoja Kat naahIÆ´Ê (at %yaa maulaIcaa kaya
dÜYa³kÜNaacaaca kaya dÜYa naahI ]laT vardana Aaho dovaacaÊ maI Aanandat Aaho²´ XaovaTI maaJaI Aa mhNaalaI
%yaaMMnaa krindkr sankÜLI Asa naava saanga. (a sagaL\yaatuna puZo gaolaI gaaDI tr naxa~ AaD yaotÊ naaihtr
maulaIca sagaL iXaxaNa knaa-Tkat Jaalaya³[nga`jaI maaQyamaatuna Asala mhNauna kaya Jaala iknvaa tI Aata
puNyaat naÜkrI krt AsalaI mhNauna kaya JaalaÊ itcaI maatRBaaYaa marazI AsalaI trIÆ´ mhnTla kI itcaI marazI
BaaYaa iktpt sama`uw Asaola hI XankaÆ prmaoXvaraÊ (anaa kaya lagnaanantr maulaInaI saaih%yaa ilahava hI
Apoxaa Aaho kI naaTkisanaomaat kama krava hI Apoxaa² (a sagaL\yaa mau_\yaapuZo tI sava- xao~at inapuNa
AahoÊ maoirT maQao AalaolaI Aaho iknvaa BartnaaT\yama iXaklaolaI AahoÊ sausvaBaavaI Aaho ho sagala non-important, ignore krNyaaevhZ maamaulaI Aaho kaÆ Asaca vaaTayalaa laagalaya. BarIsaBar mhNajao maulagaI gaÜrI AaiNa idsaayalaa
doKNaI pNa paihjao. dovaalaaca maaiht ho laÜk kQaI sauQaarNaar²
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Nvgole
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| | Tuesday, June 01, 2004 - 6:51 am: |
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AiBaEautIÊ na sauQarNaaáyaa laÜkaMcaI khaNaI tumhI mhNata tXaI Aaho KrI²
AXaaMkDo dula-xa kolaolaoca baro.
pNa %yaaMvyaitir> jao bauiwp`maaNyavaadI Asatat %yaaMcaIca AapNa cacaa- kravaI.
ho saar dovanaagarIt ilaihlyaanao ksa JaTkna vaacata AalaM.
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May be 'gudghyaala baashing' pramane immediate post karat aahe aani ho Naredra, this will be in absolute Queen's english so should be easier to read;)
As MiPuneri mentioned that there are many parents who behave like 'something' and they do present that they are short listing girls for their son. I am going through such situation, I am sure my parents are 'behaving' but there are reasons why boys' parents tend to do 'shortlisting'.
I am not remotely caste freak (nor my parents) but yes, I agree there are there are some freak (some examples, you should be able to read on intercaste marriage BB), Lets keep them aside, saying that they are sushikshik but not susanskrut (For me who is caste freak in 21st century is certainly worse than someone who should be 'termed' as backward class)
Patrika, thats another issue, personal opinions, I have seen few marriages broken apart where there were 36 points matching and few marriages where 'bhat' waved red flag in terms of matching point, survived very well. So for me, its simply useless and simply don't care.
Now comes short listing issue, why should this criteria be so important and who should make fuss about it?
Certainly, in most of the cases boys parents do such short listing (but yes, girls parents are not far behind, they do exactly same as they do in saree shop, keeping one saree in hand and looking for another which is 'better' than the one they have in hand), there could be many reasons, one why my parents are doing it because I am not visiting for half a year or so, on the top of it, I am visiting India after 3 long years so I have other engagements as well which I 'should' follow. Even, I am not going to get enough time to have 'few' meetings with the girl to get a clue of her. Certainly anybody's parents are good in this department b'coz of the experience in life (I know, I know, female character is enigma!!). I have given option of keeping email touch, if they find some 'suitable' match, they can give her my mail id to interact so that I will have a clue of a person I will deal with when I will meet in person, so there will not be any bias (with few deviations) in making any decision on my part.
The problems in the story:
1. E-mail interaction before marriage!!! no, no, so by doing that should we take it for granted that we have finalised on the 'issue'!!! If not, what society will say about it!! What the heck!! I just can't imagine such narrow minded people, Its just email interaction, 'nothing more than that' (thanks/curse to the technology, as applicable;) and its advantageous to both the personalities involved, will get enough chance to understand each other before meeting or if not, will raise few questions which you can solve during meeting. Isn't this much better than meeting someone completely unknown?
2. Peeping into personal life: How many girls' parents (or lets say boys' parents) really know where their children stand? I doubt any!! Its nobody's business but the two personalities involved in the story. One 'gentleman' worriedly asked my father, your son has been staying away for almost 3 years and he seems to have many western friends who he has visited many a times (This person knows unnecessarily more about me and the places I have visited), do you know 'anything more' in this part?? Thats clear cut invasion into my circle of privacy. I can ask similar question about a female who has stayed out for a while. Both kind of personalities, crystal clean as deionised water and clean as water of Gangas are there in both side of the world (living in India and outside India and sure everybody knows much more than they should be knowing) but who the heck is he to ask this question?
3. I don't quite agree with Abhishruti on sending and getting picture back. As I said previously saree storey story, such things happen with boys as well. So lets not generalise it, even deshastha etc issues are many a times found on matrimony website "Your responses will not be answered if you are not DeBra or KoBra and blah blah blah" I simply 'laugh' at such "sushikshit" people.
4. Dowry: In theory (and in practice) I am strictly against it but if you say it, creeping worm in some heads screams alarm. Funny explanation: There must be something wrong with the boy (otherwise surely he would have put price tag on his forehead, same as they put on bull's horn in bail bazar) What a co-relation!!!
So this is just tip of the iceberg, how many of you think that the boy (or girl) who is visiting home just for 30 days or so can sail though this big mess easily and finalise story in stipulated time period? If someone thinks its not big deal, do write me in person, I would love to have valuable suggestions from you. If not, whats wrong in short listing as long as you 'behave'! Everybody MUST understand the seriousness of the issue and REALISE that everybody stands at same 'level' no matter where their son or daughter resides or how much they earn!!
Jaydeep, you have initiated this BB so you are expected to share your experiences!! Hope you agree with that.
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Ajjuka
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| | Wednesday, June 02, 2004 - 3:33 am: |
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Prasadp... first of all... your queen's english is good and the idea also.. 
Well if its arranged marriage then its basically a deal... not uniting of two souls.. it takes place much later.. I am not trying to look down upon the system but I am just stating the fact. It is almost like a serious business deal. few differences.... 1. Its a lifelong deal generally. Nobody really gets married thinking 'Gajarachi pungi vajali tar vajli....'
2. Even though its a lifelong deal people do not think enough or give enough time to settle the deal.
I guess thats where the problem lies.
Like prasad said the people with 'misbehavior' are on both sides in this regard. Only thing is that our culture gives a upper hand to the boy's side so obviously misbehaving people are more in number on boy's side. All you can do is avoid such people. If you find anyone's behavior slightly unpleasent then just turn your back on them. When they get thousands of backs turned to them then they will come to their senses. Evadhya tevadhya goshtivarun kuthe todayache mag jaudet... complaint hi karu naka. (This is not meant for Abhishruti....)
Baki I think for people (Girls or Boys) living outside India.. spending enough time with the prospective candidate is really not practical. So short listing to some extent may be a good idea. And then there can be email interaction later as Prasad says. I hope Prasad you are keeping this option open for girls also. As in even girl's parents can short list 'sthale' and she can keep in touch with them through email. I think this is a good idea.
Regarding parents knowing their own son/daughter.. I agree ot what Prasad is saying. In fact i want to add that even you are not staying away/abroad, staying with parents... They still hardly know you if you dont have a good communication. I have seen examples like that.
If Indian parents can not treat their kids as an Individual after a certain age I dont think they can ever really know them. and also knowing does not include the list of things one has been doing. I feel knowing has more to do than that. anyways... ha to vishay nahi tevha...
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Ajjuka
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| | Wednesday, June 02, 2004 - 3:35 am: |
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Also I think enough has been said about the 'marriage' issue on 'arranged marriage or love marriage' and 'Intercaste marriage' BBs
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Prasad, I agree with some of ur points(like shortlisting, poking nose in personal life or that all boy's parents r not like this, some r really good and cooperative) But percentage of good behaving or understanding parents from boy's side is less. And as I am new in this field and because we r looking for our girl(my cousine), I am talking about these kind of experiences. I am sure even boy will face these experiences. But as Ajuka said everyone should turn their back and strictly decide that we will not have relation with this kind of people(irrespective of whether they r girl's parents, girl herself or boy's parents) and if possible make this clear with the other party so that they will also get an idea that this kind of attitude will lead them to nowhere. And boys like Prasad should come forward and talk to young and old people around them and make them aware of these facts and bring some improvement in this procedure. Because till today percentage of arrange-marriages is lot more than love-marriages. Anyway thanks for ur true reactions and sharing thoughts. I think the person who started this Topic is not reading this.
Nvgole,marazItuna ilahayalaa vaoL laagatÜÊ naohmaI tovhZa vaoL AsatÜca Asao naahIÊ trI kQaI kQaI ivanga`jaI caalavauna
Gyaavao. Qanyavaad²
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Mipuneri
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| | Wednesday, June 02, 2004 - 5:07 am: |
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ajjuka,prasad n abhisrushti mala atishay anand hotoy ki apan hya vishyavar itke moklepanai bolat ahot,prasad are malahi patatay ki kahi velela short listing is really must pan he bolun tumhi mulila dukhavat nahi ka ani kahi velela asehi hou shakel ki mulagi parents na nahi avadali pan mulala avadu shakate..ani mala tar mazya n-lows barobar rahayalach avadel pan practicaly ji mule tikade astat tyanchyakade parents kiti mahine astat,so afterall i hv to live my life with that boy only...ani mala pratyek mlachya parents baddal tevadhach respect ahe jevadha mazya pan kahi goshtyi khatktat..mi ata wipro madhe ahe,tyanchya BPO madhe mi calls na gheta tech supportla ahe pan hehi baryach janana nahi kalat ani mag mulagi CALL CENTRE madhe kam karate mhanje ratri apratri phirate ase tashere odhun mokale zalele lokhi mi pahile ahet are pan tithe jaun mi kay karate kinva maze kamache swarup kay ahe he nahi koni samjun ghet aso ha vishay na sampnara ahe asech mala vatate...may b konala kahi chuk vatathi asel pan hech satya ahe ki mulichya parents na ugachch ajchya kaltahi mulichi stutich karavi lagate jasa 'sadichya dukanatala salesman tyachi sadi kashi chan ahe hech aplyala patvayacha prayatna'karat asto...prasad tuzehi v4 mala patale pan sadhya we r going thru these things so i quoted some pts here
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Prasadp77
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| | Wednesday, June 02, 2004 - 6:58 am: |
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Ajjuka, Abhishritu and Mi Puneri,
I am in tune with your comments and yes that email interaction thing, its generalised statement, applicable to every would be!!
Short listing, same applicable to every would be!
(Any why do I need to write this? Every would be IS would be bride/groom as applicable, so both are reqd. for the 'process' so why one should enjoy 'extra perks'?)
MiPuneri, I don't know about ratri aparaatri thing, my strong suggestion is just ignore these nuts but yes, who you find sensible enough, try to tell them what the difference is (To be quiet honest with you, this is not my stream and even for me, call centre person is nothing but dialling 0200 number, our toll-free no. and somebody from B'lore or Hyd answering my call)
And, what I don't quiet agree with ladies's comments up here is *may b konala kahi chuk vatathi asel pan hech satya ahe ki mulichya parents na ugachch ajchya kaltahi mulichi stutich karavi lagate jasa 'sadichya dukanatala salesman tyachi sadi kashi chan ahe hech aplyala patvayacha prayatna'karat asto* Has anyone of you ever thought, since girl's parents act 'like that' boys' parents get a chance to make their nose high up!! I am not the first person in my family to get married, two of my cousins (sisters) have got married before me so have seen the condition but I think if girl is sound enough (like well educated, sushikshit aani susanskrut) then girls' parents should know that they are holding an ACE and just make everybody 'behave'.
Caveat: There is always possibility of abusing the system, so EVERYBODY must know where they 'stand', afterall everything comes down to conscience, isn't it?
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Ajjuka
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| | Wednesday, June 02, 2004 - 7:10 am: |
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>>make everybody 'behave'.<< That is the key point... even the girl has few minus points like so called kurupata, ekhade vyang... even then she is human and her parents should make 'them' behave does not matter whether the knot is tied or not..
everything to conscince... very true...
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I guess this BB should be moved to 'arranged marriage or love marriage' and 'Intercaste marriage' as same discussions are repeated under different topic....!!!
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Nvgole
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| | Thursday, June 03, 2004 - 8:01 am: |
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Aroccaa [qao tr maa^DroTrhI [Mga`jaca Aaho²
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Ajjuka
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| | Friday, June 04, 2004 - 4:20 am: |
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This is too much... Marathi la support karane mhanaje english cha kinwa roman script cha vapar karanarya pratyek manasavar kujaki comment karane asa arth hoto he navinach aahe.
Shikshanat marathi saktichi yacha arth marahti shivay dusare kahi shikavale jat nahi ashi dharana disatey...
Moderator. BB shi visangat post kelyabaddal kshamasv pan sagalikadech ashya comments disayala lagalyavar bolalyashivay rahavale nahi. sambandhit lokanni vachalyavar he post udavun takave..
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Nvgole
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| | Friday, June 04, 2004 - 4:39 am: |
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maa^DroTrÊ maaJaIhI ³ Posted on Thursday, June 03, 2004 - 4:01 am: ´ hI naÜMd ]DvaUna TakavaI.
maaJyaa dovanaagarIcyaa AitrokI Aaga`hastva maI idlaigar Aaho.
punha Asaa Aaga`h na QarNyaacaa p`ya%na krona²
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maMDLIÊ Ìpyaa yaa BB cyaa ivaYayaaXaI saMbaMiQatca cacaa- kra.
[traMivaYayaI Aaplyaa kahI p`itiËyaa AsatIla tr %yaa maa^DroTr maMDLalaa maola kÉna kLvaa
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Jaydeep
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| | Saturday, June 05, 2004 - 6:50 am: |
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are va..ya BB la changalach response milat ahe. me maze pan kahi anubhav ( swanubhav navhet ) sangin. fakta atta nahi. vel zala ki pathavin.
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.... eKada lagna ka krtÜ yaacaa ivacaar manaaXaI kÉna magaca kahI TIka iTPpNaI kolaI tr baro²²² ....
kItI xaullak gaÜYTIsazI lagnao maÜD\tat²².. maaJaa navara ikMvaa maaJaI baayakÜ AXaI hvaI ho jaovaa kÜNaI
zrvatÜ tovaaca kItItrI laÜkanaa nakar dovauna basatÜ... kaya mhNaavao kLt naahI...
Aamhalaa p`ÜÔosar Asalaa tr jaast p`aQaanya ... ³kaÆbaakIcaI kaya janaavar AahotÆ´
itlaa nakÜ Aahot yaa vyavasaayaatlao maula ... ³ kr baa .. %yaa vyavasaayaaXaIca lagna´
tÜ Da^@Tr Aaho... %yaalaa Da^@Tr maulagaIca pahIjao ³.. Gao baabaa kÉna´
krNaar kayaÆ AaiNa kÜNa kÜNaalaa baÜlaNaarÆAayauYyaat jyaacyaa %yaacyaa priorities zrlaolyaa Asatat ... kuNyaa kÜ@Nasqaalaa kÜkNasqaca sqaL hva Asat tr kuNaa doXasqaalaa kÜkNasqaaXaI ivavaah
krayacaa nasatܲ²... jyaaMcyaa %yaaMcyaa
ivacaarsarNaInausaar ho jaga caalalaolao Asato²².. kÜNa kuNaalaa qaaMbavaNaarÆ
ho kaya AahoÆ... maaNasao nakar ka dotatÆlagna ha mauLat ek p`karcaa svaaqa- Aaho kaÆ.... maga svata : laa pahIjao tsaa navara ikMvaa baayakÜ XaÜQalaI tr cauktoca kuzoÆ.. hܲ² barÜbarca Aaho naa²² ...
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QaÜMDÜpMt pNa jaoMvha daKvaNao ikMvaa vaQau var saucak maMDLat naava doNao yaoto toMvhaca ho gaRhIt Qarlao
paihjao kI ha baajaarca Aaho ek p`karcaa. jaI maaNasao ekmaokaMnaa AÜLKt pNa naahIt toMvha tumhI AgadI
to ]_a<a ivacaar k$naca maulaomaulaI ekmaokaMnaa baGat AsatIla Asa ksa mhNataÆ I think its only fair .. jyaalaa pTt naahI %yaanao (a gaÜYTI k$ca nayaot
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Yog
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| | Tuesday, June 08, 2004 - 7:40 pm: |
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maaJaa dujaÜra...
pNa mhNaUna ima arranged marriage naahI krNaar ha..
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Peshawa
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| | Tuesday, June 08, 2004 - 9:32 pm: |
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hI rcanaa laa ihMT Aaho ka Æ
trIca Aaja XauË sauya- Asaa kaihsaa yaÜga hÜt :P
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malaa vaaTt QaÜnDÜpnt mhNatayat tohI Kro AahoÊ rcanaa mhNato tohI Kro Aaho. hI isaisTmaca evhZI ka^imPlakToD
AaiNa knF,yaujD Aaho kI kaya barÜbar kaya caUk ho kLtca naahI. ek ek ikssao eoklao kI hsaava ka rDava
toca samajat naahI. pNa p`%yaokalaa hvaa AsaNaara jaÜiDdar XaÜQaayacaa h@k AahoÊ tsaa imaLola AXaI K~I
naahI iknvaa AgadI tssaaca imaLavaa Asaa duraga`h QarNyaat kahI pa^nT naahI. Aaplyaalaa naahI pTla tr
sarL naahI mhNaava ]gaaca dusaáyaalaa naava zovaU nayaot evhZIca maaÔk Apoxaa² iknvaa Aaplyaa barÜbar
dusaáyaacaI saÜyahI phavaIÊ dusaáyaacaahI ivacaar kravaa. Kra tDjaÜDIcaa QaDa [qaunaca igarvaayalaa sau$vaat
kravaI mhNajao jaIvana puZo saukr hÜla. ha dRiYTkÜna zovaNao ]<ama²
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ho maa~ Kr AiBaXaRtI. maaJyaa Baavaaca lagna zrvatanaa AamhI Anaok maulaIMcao ÔÜTÜ paihlao. Aqaa-t kÜNaat
kahI kmaI kahI jaast AsaNaarca. pNa p`%yaok vaoLolaa nakar dotanaa ~asaca vhayacaa. pNa AamhI ekca gaÜYT
kolaI kI %yaa maulaIcaa ÔÜTÜ prt pazvatanaa idlaigarIcaI CÜTI ica+\hI pazvalaI ikMvaa ÔÜna k$na idlaigarI
vya> kolaI.
pNa ATI zovauca nayao ha ivaica~ h+. tsa pNa (a zrvauna kolaolyaa lagnaaMmaQao baa( gaÜYTIMiXavaaya idsat
kayaÆ maulagaa kaya krtÜ / maulagaI kaya krto.. Garcao ksao Aahot. idsaayalaa ksaa / kXaI Aaho. vyavasaaya iXaxaNa kaya Aaho. hoca tr baGaU XaktÜ AapNa.. vyavasaaya kuzlaahI Asalaa trI caalaola.
jaat kahIhI AsalaI trI caalaola mhNaayalaa ha p`omaivavaah qaÜDaca Aaho. malaa vaaTto (a baajaarat pDtanaa
(a gaÜYTIMcaa maulagaa ikMvaa maulaInao dÜGaaMnaI ivacaar kolaa paihjao. maga (a baa( gaÜYTIMmauLo nakar
imaLalaa %yaacao vaaT vaaTayalaa nakÜ..
pNa AiBaEautI zrvalaolyaa lagnaat samaja tDjaÜD Asa zrvaUnaca lagna Jaala tr tumhalaa vaaTto to lagna
yaXasvaI hÜlaÆ
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Nvgole
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| | Wednesday, June 09, 2004 - 10:56 am: |
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zrvalaolaIca lagnao kaya pNa p`omaivavaahsauwa tDjaÜDIivanaa yaXasvaI hÜ} XakNaar naahIt.
jyaa tDjaÜDIt dÜnhI pxaaMcao javaLpasa saarKoca samaaQaana hÜto %yaa tDjaÜDI yaXasvaI hÜtat.
ervhI tDjaÜD k$nahI ApyaXa pdrI pDU Xakto.
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Chandya
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| | Wednesday, June 09, 2004 - 1:55 pm: |
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The reasoning I heard regarding placing constraints like cast, education, family background, native place etc in arranged marriages varies but here are some common ones -
education/profession: (doctor) good to start/run own small dispensary/hospital. (computer) easy to find job (mostly in US)
cast: there is HIGH probability that there would be relatives knowing each other's family and therefore can get to know more about each other's family (read: secrets)
native place: same as above but with HIGHER probability
family background: for obvious reasons, no one wants to send their daughter in living hell. similar reason for boy's side.
ofcourse, people go overboard with such "requirements" but taken reasonably, sometime it helps.
the above reasonings (rational or otherwise) aside, there are million examples of how people from both sides behave rudely.
PATIENCE, FORGIVENESS, TOLERANCE helps in long run ;)
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Prasadp77
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| | Wednesday, June 09, 2004 - 2:19 pm: |
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Lets not go what should be b'coz everyone here is sensible enough to undestand how it should be!! May be Jaydeep wants to know (who is underground at this moment) how things should be tackled so may be experienced gaavkari would like to jot down their experiences, like Rachana_barve mentioned that her family sent apology note with refusal, it very much makes sense (and surely thats very polite to do so), Let something like that come up!!
One question, might sound stupid, Rachana, Its pretty hard to write apology note as well, could you please comment on how you guys managed it, I mean to say, how would you put that in words!!
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maI lagna yaXasvaI hÜNyaasaazI tDjaÜD mhNat naahIyao pNa lagna zrtanaaca kravyaa laagaNaaáyaa tDjaÜDIba_la
baÜlatoya. lagna krtanaaca manaat ikMtu Asalaa tr puZo inaBaavauna naoNa AvaGaD jaala Asao malaa trI
vaaTto.
p`saad sorry mhNaUna naÜT pazvalaI yaÜga navhta AXaI..AaiNa ÔÜTÜ prt pazvalaa.
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... AamhI sahmat AahÜt... mauLat jar lagna krtanaaca XaMka Asaola tr kaya GyaaÆ....Æ
p`omaivavaah ha kQaIhI bara... Asao Aamacao AjaunahI mat Aaho²²²
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DÜLo ]GaDo zo}na kolaolyaa p`omaacao ivavaahat hÜNaaro ÉpaMtr .. very good ²
baakI irxaavaalaa maulagaaÊ EaImaMt GarcaI maulagaI
huYaar maulagaIÊ ma{ pNa handsome navara
iXaklaolaa navaraÊ ma{ pNa sauMdr baayakÜ
AXaI total contrast p`omaacaI ]dahrNao AaiNa Asao AyaXasvaI p`oma ivavaah .. not good .
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Yog
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| | Thursday, June 10, 2004 - 1:53 am: |
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p`oma AanQaL Asat ho mhNaUnaca mhNat Asaavaot kdaicat...
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Ajjuka
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| | Thursday, June 10, 2004 - 2:40 am: |
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DJ,
asehi vivah yashasvi zaleli udaharane aahet. not good he kharech pan tarihi..
yashasvi lagnacha formula nahi mandata yet...
Nee
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p`oma jaDla tr %yaalaa kahI pyaa-ya naahI AaiNa we r talking about adjustments (not about doubts/misconceptions) done during all kinds of marriages(whether love or arranged)
Ajauna ek saangaavasa vaaTtÊ Ajjaukacyaa mhNaNyaap`maaNao AsaohI ivavaah saÔla hÜtat. baáyaaca vaoLa Aaplyaa
Apoxaaca Aaplyaalaa duÁKI banavatat. kahI laÜkancyaa jaÜiDdarakDuna maaÔk Apoxaa Asatat mhNauna to caangalaa
sansaar k$ Xaktat. AaiNa var maI jaI tDjaÜD mhNat hÜto tI ATIinvaYayaIÊ samajaa tumacyaa 75 to 80 T@ko
ATIt maulagaI iknvaa maulagaa basat Asaola tr ]rlaolyaa ATI qaÜD\yaa iXaqaIla krtanaa AapNa Ôar kahItrI
%yaaga krtÜya Asa tumhalaa vaaTNyaacaI garja naahI. AaiNa A^ronja ma^roja maQao sauÉvaatIlaa baa(Ép pahIla
jaaNa iknvaa Ô^imalaIcaI caÝkXaI krNa Apirhaya- Aaho. maaNasaaca Antrnga kahI lagaoca samajat naahI³kQaI
kQaI samajatca naahI´
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| मायबोली |
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| चोखंदळ ग्राहक |
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| व्यक्तिपासून वल्लीपर्यंत |
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| पांढर्यावरचे काळे |
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| आरोह अवरोह |
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| विखुरलेले मोती |
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