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Manuswini
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| | Thursday, April 06, 2006 - 11:17 pm: | 
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अरुशि
तुझे पहिले post वाचुन मला ही तोच प्रश्ण पडला आहे आता
तुला त्या मुलाने फोन का केला मग? विचारले का तु त्याला?
ही मुले असली फालतुगिरि करतात का जर करायचे नसेल तर?
एथे मुलगे कोणी लिहितच नाहीत का??
सगळ्या बायाच लिहितात.
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Exactly arranged marriage कुठे आहे ग हे मनुस्विनी. If she is involved in him so much now and she thinks he might be involved too. मला म्हणायचे होते की arranged marriages are practical बघितल भेटल, पटल हो म्हंटल नाही तर टाटा. पण ह्या केस मध्ये she is afraid to lose him..
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मनुस्विनी
इथे मुलगे लिहित नाहीत, का ते माहीत नाही
पण या आणि इतर अशाच BBs वर मी का लिहीत नाही फारसा ते सांगतो
इथे सगळ्या लोकांचा एकूण सूर असाच की
मुलगे confused आहेत, त्यांना काही माहीत नाही की त्यांना काय पहिजे
तुम्ही लोक कशाच्या आधारावर असली विधाने करत आहात?
मुली confused असल्याने मलाही अशा संदर्भात अनेक बरे-वाईट अनुभव आलेले आहेत
त्यमुळे confused असणे हे व्यक्तीसापेक्ष आहे, त्याचा मुलगा किंवा मुलगी असण्याशी किंवा भारतात अथवा अमेरिकेत असण्याशी फारसा संबध नाही असे मला वाटते
हो, पण मुलांन जर असे problems आले तर ते अशा bbs वर येऊन ते सर्वांसमोर मांडण्याची शक्यता थोडी कमी असते call it our male ego or women's extra need for sharing their experiences or comapnionship of some sort..whicever way you look at it.
म्हणूनच, इथे माझ्यासारखी मुल काही बोलत नसली तरी त्याचा अर्थ अस नव्हे की अम्हाला तुमच म्हणण पटत आहे its just that with so much negativity in each one of your statements, one doesn't know what to say. There's nothing positive coming out of it..so a person like me is compelled to turn away from such pointless discussions
I always like to look at brighter side of thngs. I have encountered some extraordinarliy confused women, been in a few relationships with them too and have suffered to some extent as a result of that. But I did not keep on brooding and blaming women as a whole, I went out and sought other girls. From my past relationships, I knew how to recognize these 'confused' people..And it helped
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aditya I have the same reason u said abt not writing on such topics over here since i too found many a times over-generalisation of personal experiences and that too categorizing it to only boys when its actually a swabhaav exhibited by a "person" immaterial of its a boy or girl.
And if on this people say we misunderstand what they say, i would say theres is a gap betn what they want to say and what they actually say.
Arushi sorry i didn't wish to have this topic directed to sort of v&c as u r already in too much of tension but just found aditya's post exactly matching to what i too thought abt the discussions.
For u after giving a thought for a day i think u check with urself how much comfort u have in communicating with him and if u can talk to him(clearly but politely so that it doesn't break the relation) abt what u r thinking, communicate with him that if he wants u to really wait it would be better if he tells the reason behind it as it would atleast maintain the sort of "friendship" that has been built till now and if he wants time how much time he thinks he need...but pls. communicate... just thinking on urselves without ur parents here will give u more and more tension and health issues for u, nothing more than that.
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Saavni
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| | Friday, April 07, 2006 - 3:59 am: |
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मनुस्विनी , त्याने उत्तर दिले नाही तर आरुशी वर आहे की तिने किती वाट बघावी पण अशी जन्मभर वाट बघता येत नाही आणि बघू ही नये. If that guy is not involved / not interested / is confused / due to some reasons does not want to continue the relation then what's the use pressing / waiting for him. She should move ahead without any regrets and hard feelings for him. त्याने स्पष्ट सांगायला हवे हे तात्विक द्रुष्ट्या बरोबर आहे पण तशी जबरदस्ती कशी करणार ? आणि मला आदित्यचं अगदी पटलं आहे. confused असणं हा काही अगदी ठरावीकपणे मुलांचा स्वभाव असतो असं म्हणणं मलाही नाही पटत. ते व्यक्तिसापेक्षच आहे. फक्त मुली आपल्या भावना जास्त share करतात म्हणजे त्यांना doubts नसतातंच असं अजिबात नाही. मोकळीक फक्त तेवढ्याच अर्थाने म्हंटले मी, त्याने निर्णय घेइपर्यंत आणि ते ही कारण ती त्याच्या मधे आता बरीच involve झाली आहे म्हणून. किती वेळ हे ही आरुशीनेच ठरवायचं आहे इतर सर्व गोष्टींचा विचार करून.
बाकी ह्या सगळ्या मधे आरुशी कुठे गायब आहे ? तिचा प्रश्ण सुटला का नाहीच ?
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आदित्या
हे बघ तुझा point पटतो आहे मला
पण तु चुकिचा अर्थ काढ्तो आहेस की मुली हेच दाखवतात की मुलगेच confused असतात
तसे नाही
एथे generally एका व्यक्तिच्या वागण्यानी दुसर्‍या माणसावर काय परिणाम होवु शकतो किंवा किंवा साधारण लोकांना कसे अनुभव येतात ह्यावर चर्चा असते.
त्यात unfortunately मुलांवर भार असतो
तुम्ही मुले ही करा ना share
उलट त्याचा फायदा जसा होवु शकतो तुला की you can identify people with confused personality तसा बाकिच्यांन ही होवु शकेल.
एथे बर्याच लोकांनी स्वःताहुन म्हटले की its a learning
अदित्या as you say look at positive side too in this discussion, lot many people or girls have agreed that this alerts them, we are also learning that such tihngs happen. I perosnallly got so many experiences but I know that girls are confused too but it does not mean that everybody is like that.
अमेया
तुला ही हेच म्हणते की तुम्ही लोक सर्व negative का घेता?
you are trying to be defensive असे नाही वाटत?
राग नसावा मी आपले मत लिहिले.
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>>ही मुले असली फालतुगिरि करतात का जर करायचे नसेल तर?
he ek fakta example zala.
hyaat ati generalisation tar ahech tyabarobar te arushi la hi faarsa +vely supportive nahiye as she is looking with a respect and affection for a person.
for the world u r what u put in words than what u think in ur mind.
theres nothing to defend/offend here.
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अमेया
ते मी लिहिले but its not generalization really. just because I use the word " ही मुले " does not mean I was generalizing
take it easy
I am sorry Arushi, but at times you tend to be blind and dont think rational about somebodys behavior and action.
my apologies Arushi, I never intended to hurt your feelings or disregard anybodys opinions. I feel you guys are unnecessary reacting too strong for what has been written. Everybody writes what they experience. Why do you analyse that they mean this only ,that only or whatsoever. you see and feel the side what you go through. it is possible that frequent expe of the same kind leads to the feeling that people "might" be like that. only But I dont recollect anybody writing here or me writing here that all guys on earth are like that. you look at it its an experience of the person who wrote. but you cant ignore that its happening because of people certain irresponsible behavior.
अमेया, मी आता परयन्त लिहिलेल्या post मधे मला नाहे वाटत की मी हे दाखवले की मुलेच confuseD असतात एथे बाकी ही मुलिने bb उघ्डुन आपले Exp share असे मला तरी वाटते.
मी म्हटले ना मुली बोलतात share करतात म्हणुन तुम्हा मुलानाच वाटते की girls are loud
take it easy रे
Sorry admin, its becoming V&C, my apologies
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but its not generalization really. just because I use the word "ही मुले" does not mean I was generalizing >>>>>>
generally when you say something people do take it as it is!
Most of your posts(maybe thats not what you intend/think) do tend to generalize, maybe its the way you put it together in words..anyhow are negative..but thats my opinion.
this is the last I am going to say on this BB.because I believe we are going in circles, not moving forward!
Arushi- all the very best, be strong, be calm and focussed.Give yourself a deadline-If this guy doesn't respond, throw him into the trash can, there are lots of good guys out there!
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Arushi
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| | Monday, April 10, 2006 - 5:16 am: |
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boy said he has changed his mind. he just wants to be only "friends", I felt so much pain as I was so hopeful about it.
I am in miserable state but i will try to cope up,
thanks to all for their help and concern.
Arushi
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Arushi
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| | Monday, April 10, 2006 - 5:58 am: |
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Hi All,
actually I went to all posts again but now its of no use.
Just hoping that this phase gets over quickly. A total disappointment is painful soecially when somebody says that I love you and then comes back saying we cant go ahead as I changed my mind with no responsibility to give reason.
one last questions to people,do you think I should have forced him to give reason?
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Shyamli
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| | Monday, April 10, 2006 - 6:10 am: |
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>>>>>>>somebody says that I love you and then comes back saying we cant go ahead as I changed my mind with no responsibility to give reason.
one last questions to people,do you think I should have forced him to give reason?>>>>>>
नाही आरुशि अजिबात force करु नकोस...
just सोडुन दे खुप वाईट स्वप्न होतं असा विचार कर आणि सोडुन दे...
मला माहीतिये हे खुप अवघड आहे.......तरीही हेच बरोबर आहे....
त्यानी नाही म्हणायचे आणि तु आगतिक होऊन त्याच्यामागे जायचे....
असं नको ग करुस राणी! इतकी आगतिक होऊ नकोस....
तुला यापेक्षाही चांगला जोडीदार मिळेल विश्वास ठेव देवावर...
आम्ही सगळे तुझ्या बरोबर आहोत ग!
all the best
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Rahul16
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| | Monday, April 10, 2006 - 6:25 am: |
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Today I read all the post in this thread.
I shall not go in to too much details,
Shall try to put my views you can agree or may not.
See arushi, its your life. But you feel happy when the boy says yes….you feel sad if he says no……what does this indicate…..it indicates that your life is in someone else’s control…….does he deserve it………..does that person deserve to control your life ….ask yourself…think……
Dear arushi, there is absolutely no reason for you to be in pain…..actually you should feel happy …..yes I am serious…… you should feel happy that you are not with someone who does not deserve you….…..
Please come out of it quickly……life is beautiful…..
You can ask something….. if you want….open your heart….all the feelings good or bad…you will feel better…..
Just on lighter note….mine is arranged marriage…..before marriage my wife (she is very nice) one day cried like hell on phone because my sister made fun of her (good hearted fun)……I told her who the hell is my sister to make you happy or sad just by saying something….…its your life DON’T GIVE ITS CONTROL IN SOMEONE”S HAND WHO DOES NOT DESERVE IT.
GOOD LUCK
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Saavni
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| | Monday, April 10, 2006 - 8:00 am: |
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Arushi
It's always difficult to get over somebody u have really liked but I guess it just helps u gain some maturity. So...dont linger too long and start living happily again. Smile I am sure you look really beautiful that way. And there's someone just around the corner who's would be a more deserving person for you. WISH YOU ALL THE BEST.
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Arushi
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| | Tuesday, April 11, 2006 - 5:33 am: |
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Hi all,
for some reason I still tried to talk with him again, I called him up and expalined him if he was upset for something but he just avoided the topic.
For strange reasons now he calls me up r called me up after he agreed that he is not willing to go ahead but wants to be friends.
He is just not giving any clue that what was the reason or not willing to discuss the matter too. but talks nicely on general things.
1.Should I entertain his calls? (honestly,this gives me some hope and affects me that he might tell me sometihng different one day)?
2. Should I keep hope that he might change his mind?
3. or Am I making myself fool?
what do you think guys?
Arushi
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Rahul16
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| | Tuesday, April 11, 2006 - 5:50 am: |
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some how i feel that you are escaping from reality.
also do one thing....put yourself in his position....you may get answers to few of your questions
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Arushi
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| | Tuesday, April 11, 2006 - 5:55 am: |
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Hi rahul,
I really did not understand when you say put myself in his position to get the answers??
what asnwers would I get? can you be clear ?
I am really trying to to face the reality.
What answers should I expect?
why are you saying that I should put in his shoes? please explain
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Rahul16
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| | Tuesday, April 11, 2006 - 6:08 am: |
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see , if you put yourself in his position then you may understand why he is doing like what he is doing.
like he wants to say NO to you but dont want to hurt you.so he is saying 'lets be friends'.
he may have some compultions because of which he is not able to continue with you.but he can not tell those compultions to you.
the ideal case is, you forget it. but if you want answers then only you can try to put yourself in his shoes.
hope it helps
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Meggi
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| | Tuesday, April 11, 2006 - 8:02 am: |
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<aarushi, what Rahul saying is absolutely right.
You cannot force him to to tell you why has he changed his mind. When you keep decision pending (for whatever reason.. like meeting with parents is necessary or any other thing), you should be prepared for both the answers. It can be Yes or NO. Before taking the final decision, he has full rights to say No.
He might have made a mistake by telling you that he is interested in you. But it's the question of his life too. Nobody can force him to changed his decision.
I am not trying to take his side. Why I am telling you in harsh words because this is if you dont accept the reality, you cannot come out of the problem.
You tell me one more thing. You might have seen other guys also or u might meet more guys in future. Are u going to tell everybody that why did u say No to them. Because it's your life.
Accept the reality and go ahead. Now the guy might say 'lets be friends'. but if you keep asking him the same question again and again, he will not be always nice to you. He has taken the decision by considering some points which he might have missed before. Let him live the way he wants. Stop calling him, do not let yourself down. Meet other proposals. >
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Jai_jui
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| | Tuesday, April 11, 2006 - 3:30 pm: |
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Dear Arushi
I agree with couple of posts above. If talking to him is giving you hope then it will be best for you not to talk to him. Since his decision is made. Try to forget it as an experience. There are more guys out there and in time you will find one.
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हितगुज दिवाळी अंक २००७
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