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	Archive through January 22, 2004	35	01-22-04  11:48 am

Swati2 Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 2:19 pm:      well said Ajjuka and Sayonara. Trishanku Please seek help from family Councellor. But considering your wife's opinion about everything in USA I don't think she will be ready to seek help here. How about trip to India for family councelling. another thing I don't understand is if your wife doesn't work why your kid is in daycare. You are too much focus on money. Do you really think returning to India with lots of money will solve everything? your family need major help and remember your child is suffering due to this. Please seek professional help.

Trishanku Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 3:19 pm:      AajjaukaÊ mala spYT sallao AavaDtat. ima isampz\yaI imaLvaI mhnauna ho ilaihlao naihÊ malaa jaÜgya sallaa hvaa mhnauna ~yasqa vyai> laa ivacaaravao mhnauna ilaihlao. ima ilaihlaolao 100 T@ko Kro AhoÊ tuimh ivaXvaasa zovalaa naaih trI caalaolaÊ pna mala manaatlyaa sagaL\yaa gaÜYTI [qao ilaihlyanao baro vaaTt Aaho. maI maj,(a ima~ainXa pna baÜlalaÜÊ jao maj,(a bayakÜ laa pna AÜLKtat. %yaaina sallaa idlaa ik ek dÜna vaYa-na Baartat jaavauna rha AaiNa baGa kaya hÜto to. malaa vaaTt naih ik maj,(a maulavaar (acaa kaih pirNaama hÜt Aaho AjaunaÊ pna Asaoca caalau rihlao tr nai@k hÜ[la mhnaunaca mala lavakr kihtir inaNa-ya Gaayaca Aaho. maulagaa [qao Aina Bartt majaot AsatÜ. ja,ir Amcyaat mat­Baod Asalao tir Aimh kiQa maulaasamaÜr BaanDna hÜvau idlao naihÊ Aina ima BanDnaacaI vaoL Aaila ik gaPp basatÜÊ %yamauLo gaoila dÜna vaYa- Amcyaat BaanDna ja,alyaacao Aazvat naaih. lagna ja,alao tovha maij,h piristit majaBaut ja,aila hÜitÊ punyaat F,lyaTÊ kar hÜit Aina ima eka mailT nyaXanala kmpnaI maQao naÜkir kirt hÜtÜ. Aasalyaa piristitt AronjaD myaaroja ka hÜvau Xakt naahIÆ Aina AaQaI saaingatlyaap`maaNao dÜna tIna vaYa- [qao rahuna prt jaayaacao ziva-lao hÜto. hÜ tIcao rahainamana saaQao AhoÊ pna lahnpnapsauna Aaramaat vaaZila Asalyaanao itlaa Garkama vaOgaro jamat naih Aina AavaDih naaih. itla maok ]p Ê kpDoÊ daiganao (inca AavaD naih. itnao maulagaa GarI ~asa dotÜÊ %yala KoLayalaa kÜina naih mhnauna do koyar maQao zovaayalaa laavalao. tumha savaa-ncao sallao Aa[kuna ima Asao zrivat Aho ik punyaat jaavauna ek dÜna vaYa- rhatÜÊ ir einT/ primaT Gaovauna jaa[la mhNajao dÜna vaYaa-t jamalao naahI tr prt yaovau Xakola. tumh savaa-ncao punha ekda manapuva-k ABaar. maI Baartat AsalaÜ tir [qao ilaiht raihna.

Trishanku Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 3:22 pm:      kÜnaalaa punyaatlyaa maoroja kÜinsailaga caa p<aa maaiht AsalyaaXa Ëupyaa [qao Vavaa. Qanyavaad.

Nirakar Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 3:45 pm:      Trishanku: Mala vatat nahee tula tyachi garaj aahe. Tuza problem evadha motha nahee, try India for 1-2 yr then decide.

Samrya Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 5:48 pm:      dar 6 mahinyani india trip, spouse ghari asun suddha day care (total rip off) .. i cant believe this. ticketala paishe padtaat .. kon deta? tu na .. ka??? control yaar control! ti ashi vaagat aahe hya varun tujha tichya varti kaadicha control naahiye ani gharat tujhi kaahi authority naahiye hey spashta disun yete. baiko ashi vaagat asel tar, sometimes u have to show "whoz the boss"

Parijat Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 6:27 pm:      samrya, do you think that the husband should be the "boss" of the house ?

Samrya Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 7:13 pm:      no, not the husband. if one of the spouses is acting this way, the other has to step down the foot and act!!! somebody has to become firm and stop this, dont u think so???

Storvi Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 7:35 pm:      Samrya! sorry baraka.. I disagree, he tu trishankuchich baju aikun mhantoys he ek, ani dusare, if she doesn't want to live here, are you telling trishanku to force her to do so? rather selfish isn't it. Mala nirakar cha mhanna patatay... ani ajjukachahi, either family counselling, or try living in india. I mean ti hatvadi ahe ase trishanku day one pasun sagtahet, pan tichya bajune compromise karoon bharatat rahnyacha prayatna tyanni ajun kelela nahi. nakki kon hatvadi ahe asa mala prashna padlay.

Arch Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 7:52 pm:      i~XaMkUcyaa pihlyaa post maQyao Aaho kI lagnaanaMtr 2 vaYa- rahUna prt jaayaca Asa %yaaMca zrla hÜt. %yaalaa %yaacaI baayakÜ tyaar hÜtI AaiNa mhNaUna lagnaalaa tyaar JaalaI. i~XaMkUnao tÜ Xabd paLlaa naahI. jar itlaahI [qao rhavasa vaTayalaa laagala Asat tr vaogaLI gaÜYT. Aqaa-t %yaacaa Aqa- dr saha maihnyaanao India laa pLNa hohI barÜbar naahI. maulaalaa tI svat : GarI rahUna Day Care laa pazvaNyaamaagacaa ]_oXa %yaalaa %yaacyaa vayaacyaa maulaaMbarÜbar KoLayalaa imaLtM (athI kahI vaavaga naahI. %yaaMcaa maulagaa jar 2 vaYaa-Mcaa Agar %yaahUnahI maÜ{a Asaola tr. Depression maQyao jaaNyaapoxaa dr saha maihnyaaMnaI India laa jaaNaM jar %yaaMnaa prvaDt Asaola tr kahIca hrkt naahI pNa tI maulaalaa Gao}na iktI idvasa jaato %yaavar AvalaMbaUna Aaho. ~IXaMkU jar kamaainaima<a travel krt Asaola tr tÜ Garat iktI idvasa AsatÜ tohI ivacaar krNyaasaarK Aaho. iktI vaiDla kamaasaazI travel krtat %yaamauLo Garat maulaaMsaazI kmaI vaoL Asatat toMvha jar maulaaMcaI Aaš GarÊ maulaÊ job saMBaaLt AsalaI tr %yaa maulaacyaa baahor rhaNyaaba_la kÜNaI kahI mhNat naahI.

Samrya Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 7:59 pm:      nit vaachle tar kalel ki ti deshat tari kuthe rahatey??? selfish would be if he is asking her to sacrifice by not trying anything from his side. kaay guarantee ki tithe gelya nantar suddha ti kaahi divas navrya kade ani kaahi divas maaheri karnaar naahi? mhanje mug tyani kay tichya gharat move hoiche ka? changle aahe .. just not to be selfish, he should keep trying all different options, isnt it? :-) arthat, aaplyala story chi ekch side mahiti aahe mhanun ekch side ni bolu shaknaar! ugich story chi dusri side mahiti nastana kaahitari tark karun tya varti lihit baslo tar akkha server full hoel there is no end to thinking .....

Sami Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 8:11 pm:      kaay guarantee ki tithe gelya nantar suddha ti kaahi divas navrya kade ani kaahi divas maaheri karnaar naahi? >>> AgadI barÜbar

Trishanku Thursday, January 22, 2004 - 9:27 pm:      Aaca-Ê maj,ho AÜiF,Ôsa Gara pasauna ek maOlaavar AahoÊ maI Gair dupir jaovaayalaa sauQha GarI yaotÜ ³Aqaa-t svayampak pna krtÜ kiQa dupair pna bayaa-cda Aadlyaa ra~Icao KatÜ´Ê Aina p`vaasa tr mauiLca naaih. ek gaÜsT KrI maulagaa Do koAr maQao jaat Aaslyaapasauna baraca sauQaarlaa ³baÜlanao vagaOro´ %yaamauLo maj,hI tI tËar naahIÊ izk Aaho qaÜDo pOsao jaatat pna sa%kaina- laagatat Asao samajauna GaotÜ. ³sahaXao Dalar maihnaa´ maj,(a baayakÜlaa (a izkaNaaba_la ³maayabaÜlaI vaoba saa[T´ saangaayacao Asaola tr malaa AaQaI tIcyaaiXa saivastr baÜlaavao laagaolaÊ naihtr it vaogaLa Aqa- laavau Xakto. itlaa (a ba_la maj,yaa ima~inXa baÜlanao AavaDt naihÊ tr maayabaÜlaI maQao ima saingatlao mhnTlao tr maaija, vaaTca laagaola ³kimat kima 2 AaqavaDo AbaÜlaa´Ê tirih ima p`ya%na kirna. maj,yaa ima~alaa ho saingatlao tr ih [tik BaDkila hÜit ik dÜna AazvaDo baÜlaila naaih Aijabaat. maaja,I itcyaa Baartat jaanyaa ba_la kaih hrkt naaihÊ Ô> tInao ek maihnaa rahuna prt yaavao Asao vaaTToÊ pna it gaolyaavar saha maihnao rahtoÊ itcyaa javaL maulagaa AsatÜÊ pna maaja,o kayaÆ Baartat prt jaayacao tr Ô> punyaatca Asaoih tI mhnato. naiXabaanao maaija, kmpnaI punyaat AÜF,XaÜAr kond` caalau kirt Aaho AXaI Aajaca baatmaI kLalaIÊ baGauyaa kaya hÜto to. pNa maI pNa punyaat naÜkirsaazI p`ya%na sauÉ kirt Aaho.

Nirakar Friday, January 23, 2004 - 1:53 am:      Samrya: Agadi BHARATIY NAVARYA sarakha bolalas bagh Ethe ekach baju lihili aahe tarihi mala Sto cha prashna patala, nakki kon hekekhor aahe?

Sayonara Friday, January 23, 2004 - 4:49 am:      malaa vaaTtM (at baayakÜ jaast hokoKÜr Aaho. AaiNa Aaca-Ê tU mhNatosa %yaap`maaNao %yaanao Xabd na paLNyaacaa p`Xnaca yaot naahI. karNa baáyaacada Aaplyaa priorities badlatat. AaplyaapOkI iktItrI jaNaM AsatIla jaI ek - dÜna vaYaa-krta mhNaUna doXaabaahor pDlaI Aahot AaiNa pacasaha vaYaa-MnaIhI AjaUna itqaoca Aahot. (at Xabd ikMvaa vacanaaMcaa p`Xna kuzo yaotÜÆ AaiNa inarakarÊ tuJaMhI ho mhNaNaM pTlaM naahI kI problem maÜza Asaola trca counselling laa jaavaM (at lahana maÜza ksaahI Asalaa trI kahItrI problem Aahoca kI naahIÆ maga professional help GaotlaI tr ibaGaDlaM kuzoÆ

Savyasachi Friday, January 23, 2004 - 5:18 am:      trishanku, good decision. mala tari asach vatata ki tu 2 varsha bharatat rahun pahav. if ur GC remains for that period, it is the best thing for u to try (bharatat paratane 2 varshansathi). agadi shabda dila hota ani palala nahi ase kadachit nasle tari tasa bolana nakkich zala asanar ani mhanun tyancha lagna zala asel. then trishanku must try returning back. ani divorce peksha he nakkich changle ahe. priorities doghanchya badalalya tar thik ahe pan ekachich badalali asel tar kay karaycha? ek don vela patavun pahane ok ahe, pan otherwise kay satat bhandat basycha ka? samrya, tuza post vinodi asava asa dharun chalato.. :-) There need not be any boss when both are well educated. They are colleagues, trying to complete a project successfully, whose duration is life long. :-)

Sayonara Friday, January 23, 2004 - 6:18 am:      savyasachi, good post . pTlaM tuJaM. i~XaMkUÊ tulaahI good luck.

Samrya Friday, January 23, 2004 - 3:32 pm:      Trishanku: please nako re baba tila ithe bolavu. ti comfortable nasel ani tumche kadachit patch hot asel tar ajun faatel. i can understand that she might not like ur idea of discussing this problem in public. shevti, aikave janache karave manache hech satya aahe kaaran sagle khare-khote tula mahiti ani tujhya baikola sarvat jasti tuch olakhtos. tya muley hyatla konta salla laagu hoel ani konta naahi te tula mahiti. fakt mala yevdhech vaatate ki velich kaay te nirnay ghetle naahi ki ase kaahitari hou shakte. basically, never take anything for granted! tumchya kuni kunala granted ghetle te tulach mahiti. good luck & all the best! Nirakar: BHARATIY NAVARYA sarkhe mhanje? Arch: ani ekdam shabda dilya sarkhe bolat aahes. aga kadhi kaahi kaarnan muley purvi ghetlele nirnay badlave laagte. apan kitti vela ase karto. tasech Trishanku che jhale asel, naahi ka? Savyasachi: yes, my post was on the lighter side. atta tase karaila ushir jhala aahe. pan kadhi kadhi apan mulanchya baabtit nahi ka karat .. its kind of being firm! mhanje ha niyam aahe ani no matter what palalach paahije. baryach goshtin madhye baikoche pan kaahi niyam astat ki je sagle paaltaat .. bcoz those r in best interest of the family. me tya drushtine mhanat aahe.

Storvi Friday, January 23, 2004 - 5:36 pm:      pleased to see men on both sides of this argument(and ofcourse women too) nahitar baryachda men vs. women asa waad hoto...seriously.. I am happy to see these changes(even on a small scale like maayboli)

Limboni Friday, January 23, 2004 - 7:35 pm:      AaiNa hohI eok Aata. [qao i~XaMkUcaI baajaU eokUna Gaotanaa %yaacyaa baayakÜcao yaavar kaya mhNaNao Aaho to kLt nasalyaacaI tËar vaacalaI. AXaI tËar [tr relationship BBs vartI vaacaayalaa imaLalaI naahI. cau. Bau. do. Gao. yaacaa Aqa- maI i~XaMkUcaI baajaU Gaot Aaho ikMvaa naahI Asaa kahIca hÜt naahI. Ô> malaa qaÜDI ivasaMgatI jaaNavalaI. to ilaihlao. baakI i~XaMku tU Baartat jaaNyaacaa ivacaar krt Aahosa AanaI ha p`XNa saÜDvaNyaacyaa d`uXTInao AaNaKI ek pa}la Takt Aahosa ho vaacaUna Cana vaaTlao. kuzlyaahI tka-iXavaaya sallaa dota yaot naahI. kahI p`XNa - tuJyaa iknvaa itcyaa GarcyaaMpOkI kÜNaI ekhI vya>I AXaI naahI ka kI jaI dÜnhI baajaU samajaUna Gao}na maaga- saucavaU XaktoÆ Baartat gaolyaavar puNyaatca rhayacao Asao tI mhNato Asao tU kuzotrI ilaihlao Aahosa. to tulaa maanya naahI kaÆ tsao Asalyaasa ka yaacaa mauLapasaUna XaÜQa Gao. tuJyaa iknvaa itcyaa GarcyaaMcyaa interference mauLo problem yaotÜ Asao vaaTt Asaola tr %yaacaI naIT cacaa- k$na inaNa-ya Gyaayalaa hvaa. itcyaa GarI itnao kahI karNaanao laxa Vavao AXaI pirisqatI Aaho kaÆ AaiNa %yaasavaa-hUna mah%vaacao kI p`XnaacaI ]kla hÜt naahI Asao kLlyaavar na ibacakta concelling try kr.

Storvi Friday, January 23, 2004 - 8:08 pm:      khara counsellingcha paryay sarvat rasta watato malahi.. I think more than kuthe rahaycha kasa julvaycha ha problem distoy, ani that can only be resolved through counselling.

Trishanku Friday, January 23, 2004 - 10:33 pm:      counselling Gaonyaa AQaI malaa baayakÜcao counselling kÉna itlaa external counselling Gaonyaa saaqaI tyaar kravao laagaola. malaa naaih vaaTT tI tyaar hÜ[la Asao. ima saangalaIlaa tr jaavau Xakt naihÊ %yaamauLo malaa punao iknva maumbaO hoca pyaa-ya Ahot. maI pna pune prefer kronaÊ pNa Gar saasar pasauna laamba baGaona pna baayakÜ eo@naar naihÊ Asao baroca naivana problems ]pisqat hÜnaar Aahot Asao idsatoya. baGauyaa kya kya hÜto to. Ailayaa BaÜgaaisa Asaavao saadr. ilambaÜinaÊ baayakÜ itcyaa vaiDlaana iXavaaya kunaacaoih eokt naaihÊ Aina itcao vaiDla gaPp basatat mhnajao indirectly itla support krtat Asaoca naaih kaÆ AaiQa sainga%lyap`maNao itcao vaiDla p`isaQQa Aahot punyaatÊ tumhalaaih %yaancao naava maaiht AasanaarÊ %yaancaa qaÜD dbaava pDnaarca Aamacyaa sansaaravar itqao. ho ga`uiht QaÉnaca caalalaÜya.

Peshawa Wednesday, January 28, 2004 - 2:59 am:      caaMgalaa inaNa-yaÆÆÆ think again .. pNa i~Xanku malaa Asao vaa+o Aaho ik tI itcyaa maahoir kaih krNaanao jaast attach Aaho.. tu Aina tumacaa maulagaa ho itcao mau#ya kutuMba navho kayaÆ (a vyaitir>cao jao kuTuMba Aaho %yaa pasaUna dUr rhaNyaasaazI tIlaa qaÜDo samaMjasa vhayalaa hvao Aaina tumacyaaXaI jaast attach vhayalaa hvao (a saazI p`yat krNao tumacao kama Aaho make her see that she being in india so long is disturbing the bonds between you and her and your son. and she being with you is the most valued thing for you (i suppose you you feel this way :-) itlaa hI jaaNaIva k$na Vayalaa tumhI kmaI pDtaya Asao vaa+o Aaho. or in other words she is some how feeling her presence unimportant here and valued in her maternal family.. where what she says is usually obeyed BUT with you here she has to contrain herself... a power crises? jar maaJao reading barÜbar Asaola tr samryaa mhNatÜ %yaa p`maaNao p`XNa sauTnaar naahI ibakT hÜ[la....Ô> ivamaanaaca Kca- vaacaola take it as solace:-) dusaro jar tIlaa Kroca Aayauvao-dat puZo career krayacao Asaola tr tulaa tuJyaa career Apo@XaaMnaa qaÜDI maurD GaalaUna itlaa vaava Vayalaa hvaa. tuJao career jar %yaamauLo KuMTnaar Asaola³Baartat rhNyaanao´ tr (atUna tumha dÜGaaÙa pTola Asaa maga- kaZayalaa hvaa. [qao tumh dÜGaaMcyaa APtaMcaI ja$r madt Gao ... KurTnao leads to un satisfaction which makes things worst tumacyaa Aapo@XaaMcao sauKaXaI gaNaIt kuzo imaLto Aina kuzo ibaGaDto jaaNauna Gyao.... tuJyaa maagacyaa post va$na Ajauna ek Xa@yata vaTto tIcaa laaDkI laok to resposible vya>I ha p`vaasa Ajauna sauÉca Jaalaa naaih tsao Asaola tr think of making her see her responsibilities and help her to take them one by one tI Baartat naÜkrI krt hÜtI ka lagnaapuvaI-Æ jaaNaarca AXaIla tr inadana (a dÜna vaXyaa-caa eKda tentative AjaoMDa banavaUna jaa... Ô> observation and let's see won't help you much see where you are lacking as well... Its easy to see her failing but the reason could be very much you !... make sure you have analyised your own behavior towards her ho mauwo la@Xaat Gao.. closer she is to her maternal family more she is away from your...that is one side of my argument...

Dhondopant Wednesday, February 18, 2004 - 11:08 pm:      itlaa vastuisqatI naIT samajaavauna doNyaacaa p`ya%na krNao.. ho ]<ama²²² trIhI jar kLt nasaola tr maga AapNaca qaÜDo namato Gyaavao.. pNa maulaacaa janma šqalaa Aaho AaiNa tumhI šqao rahu Xakta ho pahuna itcyaa h+aKatr itkDo jaaNyaapuvaI- baáyaaca gaÜYTIcaa ivacaar naITpNao kravaa laagaola...