Well, I am not married..but have some idea of what it is from listening to other peoples experiences, having been involved a few relationships and so on....Of course "vyakti titkya prakruti" ya niyamaane everyone will have a somewhat different set of things to say here..and well I think thats what will make this discussion interesting..
I'd request the memmebrs to post their views on what marriage is about for them, according to them..not necessarily what it ought to be.. This attitude will make sure that the discussion progresses in a rather friendly open minded atmosphere of mutual respect..
So, write on people!!
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Jojo
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| | Wednesday, April 30, 2003 - 1:57 pm: | 
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Despite being married, I can honestly say I too am quite confused on what marriage is all about !!! To me, marriage definitely is tuJaM maaJaM jamaonaaÊ tuJyaavaacaUna krmaonaa
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Archananj
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| | Wednesday, April 30, 2003 - 6:11 pm: |
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jojo well said or like sunitabai deshpande says, Ati parichayat awadnya!
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Arun
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| | Wednesday, April 30, 2003 - 7:11 pm: |
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AR - ivaYaya caaMgalaa Aaho. pNa [traMcaI matM / views tulaa laagaU pDtIlaca Asao naahI.
%yaapoxaa direct AnauBava Gyaavaasa Asaa maaJaa nama` sallaa Aaho.
mhTlaoca Aaho naa Gar phavao baaMQaUnaÊ lagna phavao k$na ....
iva. saU. : maaJao lagna Jaalaolao Aaho..
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Shrini
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| | Wednesday, April 30, 2003 - 8:48 pm: |
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Aacaaya- rjanaIXa yaaMcaI ek gaÜYT yaa saMdBaa-t AazvalaI.
ekda %yaaMcyaakDo ek KUp BaavanaaXaIla tÉNa Aalaa AaiNa %yaaMnaa mhNaalaaÊ maI tumhalaa ek ivacaarp`vat-k
p`Xna ivacaarNaar Aaho. maaJyaa AavaDIlaaMnaI maaJao lagna zrvalao AahoÊ pNa malaa tr lagna krayacao
naahI. mhNaUna maI tumhalaa ivacaarayalaa AalaÜ AahoÊ kI lagnaalaa kahI Aqa- AsatÜ ka Æ maI lagna kravao
ka Æ
tovha rjanaIXa mhNaalaoÊ jar tU rs%yaanao jaatanaa eKadI sauMdr s~I paihlaIsaÊ AaiNa %yaacaa tuJyaavar
kahI pirNaama Jaalaa. ]da. itlaa pahUna tulaa AanaMd JaalaaÊ tU svatÁXaIca gaaNao gauNagauNaayalaa laagalaasaÊ
ikMvaa itlaa BaoTavaoÊ itcyaaXaI baÜlaavao Asao vaaTlao...
ikMvaa tU ekdma najar ifrvalaIsaÊ itcyaapasaUna dUr jaayalaa laagalaasa... tuJyaat kaya Baavanaa inamaa-Na
JaalaI to mah%vaacao naahIÊ pNa jar kahI Baavanaa inamaa-Na JaalaIÊ tr lagna krNao tuJaI garja Aaho. maga
to caaMgalao Aaho kI vaaTÊ saaqa- kI inarqa-k yaacaa ivacaar krt basaU nakÜsa. thana laagalaI kI maaNaUsa
paNaI iptÜÂ tÜ Asaa ivacaar naahI krt kI thana caaMgalaI Aaho kI vaaTÊ paNaI ipNyaalaa kahI Aqa- Aaho
kI naahI...
pNa jar tI s~I pahUna tuJyaa manaat kahIhI kMp pavalao naahIÊ tU AaQaI hÜtasa tsaaca rahIlaasaÊ tr maga
lagna hI tuJaI garja naahI. tU %yaaivanaa rahU XakXaIla.
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Masti
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| | Thursday, May 01, 2003 - 3:06 pm: |
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ima~hÜ....lagnaa sambaMQaI malaa ek p`Xna ivacaarayacaa AahoÊnavara baayakÜ nao AapapsaatIla p`oma ksao
vya> kravaoÆ yaat vya>Ip`maaNao ho bad\lat jaato ho maanya.pNa AXaa gaÜYTIMsaazI iktI vaoL VavaaÆ
samaÜrcyaa maaNasaacaa tsaahI AMdaja lagaoca yaoNao kzINa Asato ho Kro...trI kaya kolao mhNajao ho samajaNao
saÜpo jaalaÆ h p`Xna svatasambaMQaI Aaho...maaJao baÜlaNao jara spYT Aaho...saDotÜD Aaho...%yaamauLo
malaa jao AiBap`ot Asato to navaryaalaa samajaa]na doNao AvaGaD jaato...² yaavar kaih tÜDgaa inaGau Xakola
kaÆ
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Lalu
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| | Thursday, May 01, 2003 - 4:02 pm: |
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masti tuJao baÜlaNao spYT Aaho..saDotÜD Aaho mhNatosa maga tuJao mhNaNao navayaa-laa samajaavaUna doNao AvaGaD
ksao jaatoÆ kahI kLlao naahI.
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Kr tr maIca ha bb sauÉ kolaa.prMMtu kamaacyaa gaDbaDIt saivastr ilahayalaa vaoL Jaalaa naahI.
AsaÜ..
maaJyaa mato lagna kaya ikvaMMAa [tr dIGa- kalaIna s~IpuÉYa sambaQa kayaÊ yaa sava-MMmaQyao dÜna aspects Asatat.ek mhNajao %yaa dÜna vya>IMMcyaa garjaa to iktpt BaagavaU Xaktat AaiNa dusara mhNajao garja
saÜdUnahI %yaaMMca naat puZo jaat kI naahI.Aata yaa dÜnhI gaÜYtI ja$rI Aahot.. one needs to be considerate towards the other's needs..%yaamauLo garjaa BaagavaNao ikvaMMAa %yaa d`uXTInao p`amaaiNak p`ya%na krNao hI kÜNa%yaahI icarMMtna s~IpuÉYa
naa%yaacaI requirement Aaho .Other wise one may feel as if the other partner is taking him/her for granted.
Aata yaa garjaaMMcaI sava-saaQaarNapNao pacasaha p`karat ivaBaagaNaI krta yaola
XaarIirk s~IpuÉYa na%yaaMMma*Vo XaarIirk AakYa-Na ha Ôar mah%vaaca Baaga AsatÜ.Aaqaa-t p`%yaokacaI
AavaD yaa baabatIt iBaÙ Asalyaanao Amaukca kahI XaarIirk AakYa-Naacao maapdMMD Aahot Asa mhNata yaoNaar
naahI.Aaina hI ek caaMMgalaI gaÜXT Aho that gives each of us a chance to find someone who finds us attractive and capable of taking care of our physical needs and vice-versa..thats a brilliant arrnagement by nature.
Aaiqa-k p`%yaok vya>Icyaa yaa baabatItlyaa AaXaaAakaMMYaa Ôar inaraL\yaa Asat<a.%yaamauLo yaa
baabatIt saUr jauLNao pNa Ôar mah%vaacao
saamaaijak kahI laÜkaMMcaI socializing hI garja AsatoÊ kahI jaNaaMMcaI nasato tr kahI laÜk ya baabatIt tTsqa Asatat
kÝtuMMibak kuTuMMbaacaI dÜna vya>IMMcaI klpnaaÊ to Asaavao kI AsaU nayaoÊkuTuMMba iktI maÜzo AsaavaoÊ
%yaacao kayadokanaU kaya AsaavaotÊinaNa-ya ksao Gaotlao jaavaot [%yaadI gaÜXTI jauLNao mah%vaacao Aaho
to be continued...
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contd-from previous post-
Baavanaa%mak yaa eka baabatIt prsprivarÜQaI characteristics
ÔayadoXaIr zrtat.
saMMBaaYaNaa%mak different people communicate in diferent ways
garjaa saÜdUna [trhI gaÜYTI Aahot
how important is religious observence for you, how you like to spend your time together, does your sense of humour suit each other or not..(believe me- this is kind of importnat.., and a million other things.Now between all these needs different people obviously have different priorities.So whether someone fulfills your needs or not and vice-versa would depend on what your needs are and which of them you consider important..Of course it is foolish to expect that all your needs would be fulfilled in any relationship..so there comes the trade-off , the judgement, whether its worth it..and each one has to decide for himself/herself..
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ekmaokaMMcyaa garjaa pUNa- kolyaanao AaiNa %yaa baabatIt considerate Asalyaanao ek sense of being in a team yaotÜÊ AaiNa AXaa vya>IsaazI maaga dusair vya>I out of the way jaa]na kahI trI krto AaiNa jaovha ho regularly sauÉ hÜt tovh to naato garja AaiNa vyavahar yaaMMcyaa pilakDo jaat.AaiNa AXaa tho-ca p`oma jar inamaa-Na
Jaala naahI tr maga to naato Ôar kaL iTkt nahI of course if you take this for granted and stop caring abt the other person's needs, this can be reversible too..
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I have pretty much said what I wanted to say to start the discussion.These are of course general statements..and I feel that they are kind of universally true.(of course I am aware that I could wrong when I make such a statement!)Thats what I have gathered from my experiences.I'd like to get to know what other people think abt this..
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Madya
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| | Friday, May 02, 2003 - 3:32 am: |
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majhe nukatech lagn tharale aahe, aajun jhalele naahi.
pan lagnaavishayi majhe kaahi vichar.
lagn hey 2 jivanche milan nasun, lagnaamule 2 kutumbanche runaanubandh waadhataat.
lagnaaadhi aapan majhe aai baba, majhe ghar, majha paisa, majha wel aasaa vichar karat aasato, pan lagnaanantar majhya aivaji AAPALE hote.
aatapurate evadhe baas, nantar wel milaalyavar parat lihin.
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Manya
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| | Saturday, May 03, 2003 - 4:30 pm: |
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maaJyaasaazI lagna ih ek ijavanaaitla savaa-t maÜzI Commitment Aaho.
maaJyaa AMdajaa p`maaNao lagna ho p`amau#yaanao tIna karNaasaazI hÜt ( krava laagat )
Xaarirk garjaÊ
maanaisak garjaÊ
saamaijak / kÝTuMibak garja
( (avar Ajauna sapYTIkrNa doNyaacaI garja Aaho Asa vaaTt naahI )
lagna krtanaa (apOkI kuzlaih ekca karNa Asaola tr to ittksa yaÜgya naahI Asa malaa vaaTt. tsaca ih itnhI
karNa qaÜD\yaaÔar p`maaNaat trI Asaayalaaca hvaI
pNa (a poxaa mah%vaacaI gaÜYT AXaI kI jar maI eKaVa vya>I kDUna ( hÜNaaáyaa p%naI / ptI kDuna Ê´ kaih Apoxaa krtÜ toMvha maaJaI pNa %yaa vyai>cyaa Apoxaa puNa- krayacaI tyaarI / pa~ta Aaho (acaI svatÁlaa Ka~I Asaola toMvhaca lagna krNao yaÜgya
(a poxaa qaÜDa puZcaa ivacaar mhNajaoÊ lagnaanaMtr maI jaoMvha " maI " mhNauna ivacaar krona toMvha %yaat maaJaI p%naI / ptI samaaivaYT Asaola
kuzlahI naat iTkvaNyaasaazI malaa vaaTt communication, commitment AaiNa Trust (a gaÜYTIMcaI inataMt AavaXyakta AsatoÊ AaiNa AayauYyaBaraca naat iTkvaayaca Asaola tr (a gaÜiYTMiXavaaya
pyaa-ya naahI
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Radha_t
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| | Monday, May 26, 2003 - 9:14 am: |
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Asa ek gaaNa maagao eoklyaasaarK vaaTtya
sauna rajaa XaadI laD\DU maÜtIcaUr ka
jaÜ Kayao pcatayaoÊ jaÜ na Kayao pcatayao
maaNasaalaa ]nhaL\yaat pavasaaLa AavaDtÜÊ pavasaaL\yaat ihvaaLa AavaDtÜ AaiNa ihvaaL\yaat ]nhaLa. lahanapNaI
vaaTt maÜ{ vhava AaiNa maÜ{ Jaalyaavar baalapNa Aazvat. sagaL\yaa ima~aMcaI lagna hÜtanaa phUna vaaTt
AaplahI lagna vhava AaiNa Jaala kI vaaTtÊ AaQaIca sauKI hÜtÜ.
lagnaanaMtr imaLNaaáyaa sauKabarÜbar yaoNaaáyaa jabaabadaáyaaMicahI jaaNaIva Asaayalaa hvaI. iEanaI nao
saaMigatlaolyaa gaÜYTIp`maaNao jar lagnaacaI garja vaaTt AsalaI tr lagna ja$r krava AaiNa yaoNaaáyaa jabaabadaáyaaMnaa
saamaÜr jaava.
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Dakshina
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| | Monday, May 26, 2003 - 12:05 pm: |
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varcaM gaaNa.ekUna laÜk mhNatat kI calaa na Kata pXcaatap krNyaaevajaI Ka}naca pXcaatap kravaa.
malaa vaaTtM kI lagnaamauLo ek maulagaa AaiNa ek maulagaI yaaMnaa ek saurixat Gar imaLtM. iXavaaya kÜNakDohI
Aa[vaDIlaaMcaa kahI p`a^blaoma Asaola tr %yaatUna ek saÜiyaskr maaga- inaGaayalaa madt hÜto. AayauYya
mhNajao kaya to kLtoÊkÜNaasazI trI kaihtrI krayacao Asato yaacaI jaaiNava hI lagnaamauLoca hÜtoÊ %yaagaÊ
samap-Na ( gaÜYTI AÜGaanaoca yaotat. KrMtr yaa varIla sava- gaÜYTI maI p`amaaiNakpNao krIna Asao BaTjaI
lagnaacyaavaoLIca AaplyaakDUna vadvaUna Gaotat pNa AapNa %yaavaoLI AapaNa kaihhI Aa%masaat krNyaacyaa
manaisqatIt nasatÜ.
AaiNa lagna yaXasvaI krNaM ho ]BayaMtaMcyaa hatI AsatM. krNa ekmaokaMvarcao p`oma AaiNa ivaXvaasa yaa
dÜna gaÜYTIMmauLoca to saÔla zrtM
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Masti
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| | Monday, May 26, 2003 - 1:29 pm: |
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[qao maaJaa sauKd AnauBava saaMgato.lagna na Jaalaolyaa vya>InaI yaavaÉna iXakayalaa hrkt naahI.
maaJao lagna saha maihnyaaMpuvaI- Jaalao.lagna zrlao tovha 'maulagaa saavaLa Aaho 'mhNauna maI jara naaKuXa hÜto.pNa naMtr laxaat Aalao ik AapNa iktI caukIcaa ivacaar krt hÜtÜ. '%yaacyaaiXavaaya ' hI klpnaaca Aata krvat naahI.Aaja maI maaJyaa inaNa-yaavar KuXa Aaho.XaovaTI manao jauLNao mah%vaacao
AsatoÊnaahI kaÆ
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BaTjaI saMsaÌt vaaprtatÊ %yaamauLo bahUjanaanaa kLt naahI. kahItrI maM~ mhTlaa jaatÜya AsaM vaaTtM. tovha
f> mama mhTlaM kI BaagatM. maI maaJyaa lagnaat sagaLo Aqa- marazIt saaMgaayalaa laavalao hÜto. %yaamauLo
tasaat saMpNaarM lagna caar tasa caalalaM. baayakÜ puZo tIna idvasa %yaasaazI vaOtagalaI hÜtI.
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Suhanee
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| | Monday, May 26, 2003 - 4:06 pm: |
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mastIÊ tu mhNatosa to malaa kahI pTt naahI.XaovaTI ÉpakDo baGaunaca tr AapNa jaÜiDdar inavaDtÜ naaÆ hI
baajau AgadIca dula-ixat krta yaoNaar naahI Asao vaaTto. naMtr sahvaasaanao p`oma vaaZto ho Kro pNa sauÉvaat
maa~ baahorIla ÉpavaÉnaca hÜto....²
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Shriramb
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| | Wednesday, May 28, 2003 - 3:00 pm: |
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ha p`Xna AgadI ivaYayaalaa QaÉna naahIyaoÊ pNa tsaa AsaMbawhI naahIyao
navara - baayakÜcao svaBaavaÊ AavaDIinavaDI saarKoca AsaNao AaiNa ekmaokanaa pUrk AsaNao yaamauLo kaya frk pDU
XaktÜÆ
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Lalu
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| | Wednesday, May 28, 2003 - 3:54 pm: |
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ka ss hI Ôrk pDt naahI... jaÜpya-nt dÜGaanaa ekomaokncyaa AavaDI inavaDI AaiNa mato yaaba_la Aadr Aaho. AavaDI
saar#yaa AsatIla tr %yaa gaÜYTI dÜGao imaLUna kÉna Aanand imaLvaU Xaktat. naahItr ekmaokanaa Aaplyaa AavaDIcyaa
gaÜYTI krNyaasa vaoL doNao ho caangalao. eKado vaoLI AaplaI AavaD baajaUlaa zovaUna dusayaa-laa baro vaaTavao
mhNaUna eKadI gaÜYT kolaI tr %yaathI Aanand imaLtÜca.
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Pama
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| | Wednesday, May 28, 2003 - 4:56 pm: |
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maI mastIXaI pUNa- sahmat Aaho..Krca.. idsaayalaa ksaa Aaho hI hÜkar ikMvaa nakar doNyaacaI phIlaI payarI
naahI.. maaJa lagna Jaala tovha maI inavaDlaolaa maulagaa sauMdr vagaOro naahI AaiNa saavaLa Aaho mhNaUna
Garcao naaraja hÜto.. pNa AamhI dÜGa ekmaokaMnaa caaMgalao AAÜLKt hÜtÜ.ekmaokaMcyaa AavaDI inavaDI jarI
sagalyaa maahIt nasalyaa AaiNa svaBaavaatlao AaiNa ivacaarMmaQalao baarkavao maahIt nasalao trI ekmaokaMcyaa
ivacaaraMba_la Aadr hÜta..
lagnaa naMtr p`oma kra ikMvaa p`oma k$na lagna kra..ekmaokaMnaa samajaUna GaoNa sagaL\yaat mah%vaaca.
Aata %yaacyaa iXavaaya AayauYyaacaa ivacaar pNa naahI krta yaot.
AaiNa maaJaa inaNa-ya barÜbar AsalyaacaI pavatI mhNaa hva tr Êyaa vaYaI- maaJyaa AavaiDlaaMkDUna imaLalaI..
anniversary card maQao ilahIla hÜt..
tumacaa 2 vaYa- sauKI saMsaar baGauna AamhI KUp AanaMdanaI mhNaU XaktÜ.. tumhI ijaMklaat..
yaa poxaa AQaIk kaya pahIjao saaMgaa Æ
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Jojo
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| | Wednesday, May 28, 2003 - 5:09 pm: |
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Heartiest congratulations Pama...
tuJaa ivarsa kraycaa Aijabaat hotU naahI ... pNa tuJyaa posting va$na tuJao lagna tsao navaInaca Asalyaacao kLto. AaiNa tUhI bahuda vayaanao lahanaca AsaavaIsa probably between 23 - 26 ???
Wait for another 5 years and revisit your stand again. "Maybe" things might not seem as rosy (again just a maybe). If they are the same, I will congratulate you once more
AaiNa maulao baaLo JaalaI kI ivacaa$ca naka
My current favorite song is -
kÜ laÝTa do maoro baIto hue idna
and bacapna ko idnaBaI @yaa idna qao ...
Its not all that bad or scary, just that you get too engulfed with your job, house, kids, daily chores, responsibilities etc after marriage, no time as such to just sit around and laze and do nothing ... maybe some will understand what I mean
Office maQyao Aslao kI GarI ra~I jaovaNa kaya k$Ê Í,Ija maQao Baajyaa kÜNa%yaa AahotÊ ibalsa kuzlaI BaraycaI
AahotÊ ivakI naITpNao jaovalaa kaÊ %yaalaa ]Va Dbbyaat kaya do}Ê tÜ ra~I iktI iXaMkt hÜtaÊ sadI- tr hÜNaar
naahI na etc etc thoughts in mind...
Garat Aslao kI tÜ job run Jaalaa Asaola kaÊ tI isËPT barÜbar Aaho ka presentation maQao kaya material TakU etc etc...
its an evergoing background thought process!
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Shrini
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| | Wednesday, May 28, 2003 - 5:16 pm: |
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lagnaanaMtr kahI kaLanao baayakÜlaa navaáyaacaa AaiNa navaáyaalaa baayakÜcaa kMTaLa yaotÜ ka Æ jar Aaplyaa
jaÜDIdaracyaa AavaDI / inavaDIÊ ivacaarxamataÊ matoÊ mayaa-da maahIt Jaalaolao Asaola tr explore krayalaa navao Asao kaya ]rNaar Æ jao baÜlaayacao to sagaLo baÜlaUna Jaalao Asaola tr baÜlaayalaa navao
kaya ]rNaar Æ
Ìpyaa QyaanaI Gyaa kI Asao GaDtoca Aqavaa GaDtca naahI Aqavaa Asao GaDNao caaMgalao / vaaT Aaho Asao maI mhTlaolao naahI. sava-saamaanyatÁ Asao GaDto ka Æ AaiNa GaDt Asalyaasa %yaavar kaya
]paya yaÜjalao jaatat Æ ho maaJao p`Xna Aahot.
yaacaa ek ]pp`Xna ha doKIla Aaho kI A laa ba caa kMTaLa Aalaolaa Aaho pNa ba laa A caa kMTaLa
Aalaolaa naahIÊ Asao hÜto ka Æ karNa maaJyaamato hI isqatI tr AjaUnaca Bayaavah Aaho.
punaÁÊ yaat A var iTka krayacaa Aqavaa ba cao gaÜDvao gaayacaa hotU naahI²
Asao GaDt Asaola tr pit - p%naI to svaIkarayacao QaaDsa kÉna %yaavar kahI ]paya XaÜQatat ka Æ ka maahIt AsaUnahI kahI GaDlaolaoca
naahI AXaI samajaUt kÉna Gao]na jagat rahtat Æ
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Pama
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| | Wednesday, May 28, 2003 - 5:52 pm: |
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jaÜjaÜ..malaa tuJyaa mhNaNyaacaa Aqa- samajatÜ Aaho..
AjaUna 5 vaYaa-MnaI kdaicat ica~ qaÜD vaogaL AsaNyaacaI Xa@yata Aaho.. pNa vaogaL kovaL job, maulabaaL yaa terms maQao.. ivacaar krNyaacaI pw\t ikMvaa samajaUna GaoNyaacaa p`ya%na yaa terms maQao naahI.. XaovaTI tumacaa svaBaava badlat naahI.tU jaI kaLjaI krNyaacyaa ivaYayaaMcaI ]dahrNa idlaIsa
tI pNa perfect Aahot but that comes as a part of your life.. %yaavar ivacaar krNyaat vaoL GaalavaNyaat kahI tqya naahI..AaNaI ek gaÜYT Asato.. ho life. aapaNacha choose kolaola Asat.. so face it as it comes malaa na@kI maahIt Aaho ih ho sagaL jao tU saaMgato Aahosa %yaat complain krNyaacaa tuJaa Aijabaat hotU naahI.. facts saaMgato Aahosa.. pNa facts kXao accept krayacao to AapNaca zrvaayaca Asat naahI ka ? ..
paDgaavakraAMcaI sauroK kivata Aaho ek..
polaa AQaa- irkamaa Aaho Asa mhNaayaca ik AQaa- Barlaolaa.. ho jyaaca %yaanaI zrvaayaca..
lagnaa barÜbar vaaZNaaáyaa jabaabadaáyaaMmauLo ek maokaMsaazI svatasaazI kmaI vaoL imaLtÜ ho 100% kbaUla.. pNa maga yaacaa balance ksaa krayacaa ho AapNaca zrvaayalaa hva.. maaJyaa mato lagnaa AaQaI AapNa AaplyaasaazI jagat AsatÜ.. lagnaanaMtr
svatasaazItr Krca.. %yaabarÜbar dÜna kuTuMbaaMsaazIhI jagatÜ.. maga %yaat tDjaÜD hI AalaIca.. background thought process ho lagna Jaala AsaÜ vaa nasaÜ.. caalaUca Asato.. f> ivaYaya vaogaLo Asatat.
ho far iflaa^saa^ifkla hÜtya naMÆ
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Jojo
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| | Wednesday, May 28, 2003 - 6:18 pm: |
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pmaa tuJao mhNaNao pTlaoÊ tU ilaihlao Aahosa to AgadI yaÜgyaca Aaho.
jyaanao %yaanao ApNa Aaplao life ksao balance krayacao ho zrvaayacao Asato gaM
AaiNa tu ilahIlyaap`maaNao I have only mentioned the "usual" facts after most marriages.
yaat jarI malaa KUp KUp complain kravaosao vaaTlao AaiNa javaabdarI JaTkUna kuzotrI dUr pLUna jaavaosao vaaTlao trI that I am still here and doing my duties as a wife,
as a mother, as a daughter, as an employee proves that I have accepted my life - I am still not sure whether this is what I wanted or imagined when I was a dreamy girl of 20!!!
What I want to say is, on an average, any young girl has rosy rosy pictures of her marriage, 2 cute kids,a loving husband and an ideal sauKacaa saMsaar . But reality is more than less, far from our imagination. Not that I don't have a loving husband, cute kid, good job, good money anymore. Its just that I have a lot more (worries) in the bargain too - that's all. And of course, one has always to be able to "keep up" with whatever expectations one has set or has been set by society for him/her.
Not sure if I'm getting my point across. Sometimes I feel like I am caught in an indefinite loop, and just can't seem to get out. When I think practically, I realize there is no need for me to get out either, I am safe and secure in my little world. Does anyone go through such a dilema ???? Nothing needs to be done about it, but once in a while, the daily humdrum activities do catch up with you.
I think I better shut up now
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Pama
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| | Wednesday, May 28, 2003 - 6:30 pm: |
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jojo.. i think you have got the point.
everyone.. and i also include boys in this.. has a rosy picture of a perfect marriage..but life is always less than perfect..the grass is always greener on the other side..
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Bhaitad
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| | Wednesday, May 28, 2003 - 6:54 pm: |
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(a cacao-t dÜna p`kica- laÜk Aahot
lagnaaLu AaiNa ivavaaiht.
%yaapOik lagnaLu laÜkaMnaI svatÁ lagna kÉna baGavao AaiNa maga zrvaavaoÊ hyaabaabatIt dusaryaMcao AnauBava
kahIca ]pyaÜgaacao naahIt.
ivavaahItaMnaI Aaplyaa jaÜDIdaraXaI jamat nasaola tr adjest kravao kIMvaa vaogaLo *vaavao ]igaca kuZt basauna t%va&ana saaMgaU nayao naahItr ]gaIca va. pu. cyaa
loser ³ %yaaMcyaa bahutok gaÜYTI hyaa loser mentality cyaa Asatat´ hero saarKo kuzlao trI t%v&na manaiXa baLgauna ijavana kMzavao.
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Lalu
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| | Wednesday, May 28, 2003 - 6:56 pm: |
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shrini tU mhTlaosa tXaa samasyaa sagaLIkDo Aahot. AapNa jara vaogaL\yaa pwtInao ivacaar krtÜ %yaamauLo [qalyaa
laÜkansarKo knTaLa Aalaa kI vaoga,Lo hÜt naahI.malaa vaaTto sagaLo baÜlaUna samplao AahoÊ AaiNa dÜna
maaNasaanaI ekmaokalaa pUNa- AÜLKlao Aaho Asao kQaI hÜt naahI. kahItrI navaIna GaDtca Asato. baÜlaayalaa
ivaYaya baroca AsatatÊ nantr ]laT vaoLca kmaI pDyalaa laagatÜ.
jar kuNaalaa knTaLa Aalaaca tr %yaavar ]paya XaÜQatat ka naahI ho %yaa %yaa vya>Ivar AvalambaUna Aaho.
jyaanaa vaaTto kI Aaplyaalaa yaaca jaÜiDdarabarÜbar AayauYya kaZyacao Aaho to pNa AanandanaoÊ Asao laÜk
p`ya%na krt AsatIlaÊ baakIcao maulabaaLnsaazI ek~ raht AsatIla.
maI hllaIca kuzotrI vaacalao hÜto kI maulao maÜzI hÜ]na sansaaralaa laagalaI kI kahI jaÜDpI ivaBa>
hÜt Aahot. ho Baartat iktpt caalaU Aaho maaiht naahI.
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Arch
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| | Wednesday, May 28, 2003 - 8:26 pm: |
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p`%yaokalaa svat : caI AXaI kahItrI hobby AsaavaI. Aamacyaa dÜGaaMcao ivacaarÊ AavaDIinavaDI [t@yaa saar#yaa Aahot kI AamhI sagaLca barÜbar krtÜ
(apo@Xaa give each other some space ho saMsaarat Ôar jaÉrIca Asat. pUvaI- AaplyaakDo baayakÜ vaYaa-kazI maihnaaBar maahorI jaayacaI %yaaca
ek karNa hoca Asaava.
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Bhaitad
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| | Wednesday, May 28, 2003 - 8:53 pm: |
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Arch, ekdam barobar bolalis. Mazya mahitit ek kutumba aahe tyanchya mhananya pramane te ekmekkana office madhil kinva gharatil barik sarik goshti sangat bastat kinva kuthehi jayache asel tar doghech janar he mala tari atich vatate. Navara , baykoni tyanche vegale chhand kinva vegala group asala tar jivanat jast maja yete ani toch toch pana yet nahi. Any coment?
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Athak
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| | Wednesday, May 28, 2003 - 9:22 pm: |
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navara baayakÜnao AayauYyaBar saaqa Vayacao zrvalao Ê that does not mean , p`%yaok gaÜYT ekmaokaMcyaa iXavaaya hÜNaarca naahI . everyone needs his/her own space . hÜ saMsaarIk Ê saamaajaIk jaaNaIva Ê responsibilities Ê social baaMQaIlakI ho jaÜpasalaoca pahIjao . pNa svatacaI mat ekmaokaMvar laadu nayao . baayakÜ Aaho mhNauna
tInao eklaoca paihjao Ê this is wrong .
prvaa AamacaokDo ek gaRhsqa Aalao Ê Qaaima-k Ê mhNao ek va`t kra Ê saat janma hIca baayakÜ va haca navara
%yaaMnaa sahja ivacaarlao kahÜ tumha dÜGaaMcaa ha kÜNata janma Æ raga na@kIca Aalaa Asaola . AsaÜ . ekca janma pNa vyavasqaIt jagaavao .
20 to 25 vaYaa-pya-Mt AapNa ekmaokalaa AÜLKt sauwa nasatÜ Ê eko idvaXaI ekmaokaMcao hÜtÜ Ê I think its all garja Ê adjustments .
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Jojo
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| | Thursday, May 29, 2003 - 2:38 pm: |
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BaOtaDÊ t%vaVana tr [qao jaÜ yaotÜ tÜ JaaDtÜÊ
ma*NaUna jara change mhNaUna reality ilahIlaI.
malaa trI %yaat loser / winner caa mau_a idsaUna
yaot naahI You cannot view marriage as a race where someone is a winner
and someone is a loser. You have to work as a team. And there can be times, when
either one or both can get frustrated and tired. So just because I wrote about the -ve
or not so "rosy" aspect of marriage doesn't make me a loser. But for people like you
to pass judgement definitely makes you a hypocrite. In fact all people who say they have a perfect marriage
and give advise on how to make marriage work as though they were experts on it are hypocrites to some extent.
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Lalu
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| | Thursday, May 29, 2003 - 3:11 pm: |
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jojo tulaa tuJyaa AayauYyaat vaogaLo kahI krayacao hÜto kaÆ mhNajao naÜkrIÊ sansaarÊ maulaobaaLo yaa iXavaaya.
tU mhNatosa tsaa dilemma malaa trI hÜt naahI. karNa XaovaTI malaa hoca krayacao Aaho ho maaiht hÜto. I do feel tired and caught in a loop pNa to daily routine cao caË Aaho. %yaatUna baahor pDavao vaaTto pNa sansaaratUna naahI. malaa vaaTto ho sagaLo saamBaaLUna
jao Aanandat sansaar krt Aahot %yaancao savaa-ncaoca "perfect marriage" Aaho. including you. Don't you think so?
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Jojo
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| | Thursday, May 29, 2003 - 3:26 pm: |
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laalaUÊ Aga that's precisely my point.
malaahI AayauYyaat vaogaLo Asao kahI krayacao nav*toca.
ja,o saQyaa maaJao ijavana Aaho that's what I always wanted.
caaMgalao iXa@XaNaÊ caaMgalaI naÜkrIÊ doKNaa p`omaL navaraÊ
gaÜijarvaaNao baaLÊ GarÊ gaaD\yaa and the whole nine yards.
But my point was, which unfortuantely got twisted around, kI ho sagaLo
ja,ovha AapNa [ccaItÜÊ tovha %yaabarÜbar yaoNaaro kYTÊ javaabadarIÊ
AÜZataNa , tension ho sagaLo Qyaanaat Gaot naahI . At when I was a dreamy girl,
I just thought if I have a good looking, loving husband, and the filmy style romance, etc etc, I would be the happiest.
But I did not account for the numerous other factors that go along with it, and are not so appealing.
And that could be the case with most everyone.
]Va jar ima vaogaLo kahI krayacao zrvalao ikMvaa kolao which I feel now would make me more happy,
then probably I still won't take into consideration the minus points that come along with the happiness.
And once I get to the new found "happiness" I still will be complaining.
That was all I wanted to say. There is no such thing as "perfect happiness".
I think I have probably diverted enough from the topic. But thanks for listening(reading) anyways.
tumacyaa ideal saMsaaracao t%vaVana caalaU Va. maI Aata vacato f>
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Bhaitad
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| | Thursday, May 29, 2003 - 4:36 pm: |
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Jojo, I like your thoughts than anyone here simply because they are the practicle/real one. Like you I do think other ideal philosphies presented here are hipocratic, no doubt about that.
When I used word loser , I mean a person who thinks he deserves or wants something more but cannot get it (due to whatever reason) then he starts working/accepting on philosophy that suits his situation and try to show that he/she is happy. But from his bottom of the heart he knows he is not ! (Actually most of Va. Pu. stories are like that)If you do not have guts to seprate or change the situation then in reality this what happnes, it requires guts to even accept it though.
So hope it is clear in your mind that I was not talking about race between the two.
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