Vasudha_k
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| | Wednesday, April 17, 2002 - 5:27 pm: | 
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I want to discuss something which might have affected more people than me alone. I am a married marathi lady in my forties with a child.I was sexually abused as a child and a young woman.
Fakta mazhya ektiwar ha bhayanak
prasanga ala hya bhawanetun kadhi baher padu shakle nahi. Konala kahi sangu shakle nahi. Nehemi swatahla ekti samajle.
If there is anybody who went through this horrible experience, I would
like to ask how they have managed to heal the wounds and move on without getting paranoid about their children.
Admin, If this is an inappropriate topic please remove it . Thankyou. - Vasudha
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Rasikyash
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| | Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 4:00 am: |
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Vasudha : tuza vishay kharach gambheer aahe. Ashya prakarachya baryasachya cases vartaman-pratratun vachayala miLatat paN pratyekShat matra kadhee tashya vyakteeshee samband aala nahi . tu tuzya navarachee madat ka nahi ghet hya vishayamadhye? (provided u both are well trusted to each other.) Ashya stitit ekaTepaNa sosavun manushya ajunach insucure feel karayala lagato. malahee far lihita yene shakya nahi, paN hope so kee ithelee itar sabhya janata tyanche anmol vichar manDateel.
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Vasudha_k
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| | Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 2:36 pm: |
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Tase karne shakya nahi karan mi tyancha wishwasghat kela ase hoil. ani
kahi pramanat te barobar ahe.
I have lived with a lot of pain and shame for over twenty years it even if it was not my fault because I felt that girls from good families never have to go thought this. I felt I was the only one and still do.My generation did not discuss about the term sexual abuse . I myself heard it when I came to America.
I only want to know how to best heal myself without going public at this stage
of my life.
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Dardi
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| | Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 2:48 pm: |
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vasauQaaÊ tuJaI samasyaa gaMBaIr Aaho.pNa tuJya pÜisTMga vaÉna na@ko kLt naahI kI Aata [t@yaa vaYaa-Mnantr
tulaa kaya samasyaa Aaho %yaa pUvaI- GaDUna gaolaolyaa gaÜYTIivaYayaIÆtulaa nai@k kXaa p`karcaa sallaa
hvaa AahoÆ.%yaamauLo tulaa jao mhNaayacao Aaho to jara naIT saaMga.
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manasopchartadnya tye kela ahes ka?
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Swati2
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| | Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 3:43 pm: |
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Vasudha, Please try to seek professional help. Join local support group. As a first step, talk to your OB/Gyn. He/She will guide you how to proceed further, keeping every thing confidential.
In case of kids, as a parent of 7yr old I will say educate them. They need to know that they can say "NO". and you will always be there for them unconditionally.
take care.
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Vasudha_k
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| | Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 3:55 pm: |
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no, i cannot try them because it will bring my husband and child into this. That
is why I preffered the anonynimity of this site. I have tried selfhelp books but the pain cannot go away, I thought 20 years was enough time but I am wrong.
My child thinks I am being stupid or paranoid about her. She is aware of all the issues discussed currently on TV but does not realise how close to home it can happen.
When I discuss the recent TV news with other marathi ladies they are disgusted but feel it will never happen in our community.
Jasta lihu shakat nahi.
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Yogibear
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| | Thursday, April 18, 2002 - 4:08 pm: |
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Vasudha_k: aapala sangharsh aani traas lakshyaat gheta, tyaach pramaane ashyaa babtit thevli janari anonymity lakshaat gheta tumhaala ethee nakki kaay apekshit aahe!!! Jase aapan hyaa vishyaver jashtaa lihu shakaat nahi tasech dusre koni jer hyaa trasaatun jaat asel athvaa gele aasel ter tyanchya samor sudhaa tasech aDathaale nastil kaa!!!
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Dineshvs
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| | Friday, April 19, 2002 - 11:27 am: |
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vasaUQaata
tUmhI tUmacaI samasyaa maaNDlaI yaatca tUmhalaa qaÜDa irlaIÔ imaLUna jaala. maaJaa svatacaa AnaUBava
hoca saangatÜ.maaJaI samasyaahI maI qaoca maaNDlaI Aaho AaiNa %yaalaa trakDUna imaLNaarI maayaocaI Ôunkr
baGaUna malaa ek vaogaLaca hUÉp Aalaa Aaho.
yaa vayaat tUmhalaa hLvao vaaTNao saahijakca Aaho. pNa malaa vaaTto tUmhI ho sava- ivasarNao yaÜgya hÜla.
Aaplyaa XaUicatocyaa klpnaa Ôarca kDk Aahot. ³ inadana s~Iyaancyaa baabatIt trI. ´ tovha pUZo baGaa. rs%yaat
caalatanaa payaalaa GaaNa laagalaI tr AapNa paya QaUtÜ AaiNa puZo jaatÜ tsaoca. maaJyaasaar#yaa tUmhI
caËvyaUhat tr naahI naa ADklaat. malaa vaaTto Aaplyaapoxaa dUKI maaNasao baiGatlaI naa kI Aaplao dUK hlako
hÜto. Aata tUmhI tr tUmacyaasaar#yaa s~Iyaanaa samajaa} Xakala AaiNa tUmacao dUK kUzlyaakUzo pLUna jaala.
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Arch
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| | Friday, April 19, 2002 - 4:24 pm: |
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vasauQaaÊ tuJaI samasyaa vaacaUna vaaT vaaTla. tU jar naÜkrI krt AsaXaIla tr life works laa call kr. to madt krtat counseling laa. AaiNa annonymous pNa rhata yaot.
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Thankyou Swati ani Arch, mi jaroor karun baghin. saglyat waeet watla te bharatat
amchya kade gharkamachi bai ticha lahan mulila ghari gheun ali ani mhanali - bai hila tumchya baror dur gheun jata ka. mi kutlya tondani tila kay wicharnar? far manala lagla.
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Storvi
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| | Friday, April 19, 2002 - 5:37 pm: |
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It's a serious issue, rasikyash, ashya konachi tumchi olakh nahi ki aslei tari tumhala thauk nahi? Latter seems more probable. This is a taboo topic, and therefore it may be that you just have not heard about it...
What we need is education, and awareness. Ithe US madhe khup awareness ahe hya vishayavar, pun me ashya kiman don te tin lokanna olakhte, and you will not believe who the perpetrators of crime can be. hya goshti bollyajat nahit, tyamule aplyala kalat nahit. Pun as far as I am concerned, far javalchya lokanbaddal me he ghadlela aikla ahe (I cannot disclose names, but suffice it to say some of my very close friends have gone through this). And I know for a fact, ki kityek velela, khudda gharatlyach lokanna mahit nasta, kinva sangitla tar khota watta. mulat aai-wadilanni apli mula kay sangtayt tyakade laksha dyayla hava. Ata vasudha-tainchya babtit tyanni professional help ghenach jasti yogya ahe, pun apun bakichyanni hyatun mula aplyala kaay sangtayt, kinva kay sangat nahiyet hyakade laksha dyayla shikla pahije. vasudha tai mhantat tya pramane, it happens close to home and we are usually not even aware of it.
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Rasikyash
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| | Saturday, April 20, 2002 - 10:18 am: |
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Storvi : I already said that its a serious topic. I really don't know anybody personal as such who has gone through such a painful situation. In India people are well aware about such cases. But such things are moving towards like a common problem in living society. Few years back people used to consider cases like rapes, suicide, abortion as a very horrible topic. But nowadays such cases has become so common that u open any daily newspaper & u will come across at least one such example. Society just feel bad & nobody take any step to help such people. Whats the use of such empty emotions! In many cases ur own family members are the root cause for spoiling ur personal life. How can one say so openly about their family members? Here we don't know complete story of Vasudha, we are asking her to take help of professionals, family members, friends, but from her point of view it must be more harmful for her daughter & for her rest of the future to do so. But I think Vasudha, if u have will then u have way to go. If u r trying ur level best to come out of the mental agony then u will surely get somebody to help u out. My luck!
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Swati2
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| | Sunday, April 21, 2002 - 1:42 pm: |
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Vasudha, please visit http://www.rainn.org/.
They have hot-line number listed on their web site. Hope this helps. For your daughter find prevention program in your community. after all knowledge is power.
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Dineshvs
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| | Monday, April 22, 2002 - 5:57 am: |
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vasaUQaata
maI pu$Ya AsaUnasaUQaa yaa BayaaNa AnaUBavaatUna jaat Aahoca. Aaplao BaavaivaXva }Qvast hÜNao mhNajao
kaya to malaa maahIt Aaho. maI malaa ksao saavarlao to ilahU.
ek mhNajao manaaXaI AgadI zama zrvaayacao kI Jaalao %yaat maaJaa kahIhI dÜYa naahI. maaJao kahIhI caUklaolao
naahI. (acaI AgadI p@kI KuNagaaz baanQaayacaI.
dUsaro mhNajao eka vya>Icaa dÜYa dUsaáyaa vya>Ilaa Vayacaa naahI. sava-ca maaNasao tXaI nasatat.
tUmhI hvao tr parKUna Gyaa pNa caangalaI maaNasao BaoTtatca.
baGaa sahja jamaola
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Pranit
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| | Wednesday, June 19, 2002 - 10:25 pm: |
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vasudha : my good wills to u to overcome form that past episode of ur life.
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Wakdya
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| | Thursday, June 20, 2002 - 8:45 am: |
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kay ghadale asave tyacha andaaj bandhava lagatoi.. pan
manasshastriya drushtya yek nakki ki agadi lahan pana pasun ghadat asalelya kahi goshtincha manavar khol changla/wait parinaam hoto, wait parinamatun kityekda nyungand kinva aparadhipanachi bhavana nirmaan hote ji kayamchi tochani lavu shakate.. most of the time.. asha bhavane madhe yek supta echha dadaleli asate sudaachi kinva apalyala fasavile gelyachi... te dukh:a barach kal tikun rahu shakate..
yavar upay mhanaje jase dagadavar doke aapatale ta te futate he apalya manala nakki samajavalele asate tya pramanech apalya manala punha punha samjavayache ki tya aathavani hya dagada pramane aahet fekun denyachya layakichya.. kuravalane kinva tyanchya var doke apatanyachya layakichya tya nahit... he karat asatana, pranayaamachi madat jarun ghyavi, tasech apan je karato tyaas keval parameshwaras sakshi thevayachi savay manaas lavaavi..
mi swata yek purush asun pan barech ghanerade mhanave ya sadaratil anubhavatun gelelo aahe ni tyatun yashaswi pane baher pan padalo aahe... laaj kinva naitik bandhana mule ya thikani tyachi charcha karane yogya honaar nahi..
but vasudha mavshi, ya jagaat bali to kaan pili asato.. pan sarva kaal nahi.. aani kaan pilalyachya aathavan manaat aanun tumhi kiti kaal vartamaan kaal kharaab karun ghenaraat?
so chears up towards your present n future life.. wish u all the best luck to come out, forget n forgive...
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Sekharan
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| | Saturday, July 27, 2002 - 11:19 am: |
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Varil sarva charcha pahata eka gambheer vishayavar eka swatala asahayya samajnarya strila barech ulat sulat salle aapan dile. Mala swatala tyatale don vishesh vatale. 1)Ghan lagalyawar pay duvun takane ani punha ghan lagoo na dene. 2. Apalya peksha adhik dukkhi mansache vichar vachane/aikane mhanaje aapale dukkha kami bhasate (Ithe mi ek pustak suchaven tyache naav ahe 'BLASFEMI' (Mi marathi wachale ahe) 3. Manatali malmal okun relief milvane.
Mi swataha devajaval ekach prarthana karen
'asha dukkhadayi prasangala tond denyasathi/ase punha ghadu na denyasathi Vasudhajina bharpur manashakti dev devo.
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Nirakar
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| | Tuesday, September 10, 2002 - 10:03 pm: |
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Hya charchela kahi aartha nahi karan VasudhaK ne kahich sangitale nahi. Tumhi kashavaran conclusion kadhata?
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sausvaagatma\
Nirakar
ihtgaujavar Aaplao hadI-k svaagat Aaho. ihtgauja tÔo- tumhalaa hI CÜiTXaI BaoT
ihtgaujacyaa sava- ivaBaagaanaa AvaXya BaoT Va
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Nirakar
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| | Wednesday, September 11, 2002 - 6:47 pm: |
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Dhanyawad. Site khup changali aahe.
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Friend,
You need to learn yoga and pranayaam. It really relieves all your current worries. One should always look at the brighter side of the life.
You need some strange listener who can listen to all your problems.. you need to speak out each and everything you are worried off.
May almighty god gives you enough strength for this.. take care
Umesh
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Sweety
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| | Wednesday, July 21, 2004 - 7:26 am: |
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vasudhatai,
apan sarwath pahile mhanje hatash mulich howu naka..ani loknindela ajibat ghabru naka.ayushya hey asech ahe..mala watate ki waiite anubhaw barech kahi shikawun jatat.ajkaal vartaman patra madhun kahi wachle naa manuskila lajawnare...ase watate naa jawun te nich krutya karnarya wyakti la agadi thechun marawe...pan mhanun hey sare thambnar nahi,,its u who can make urselves strong. ani apan tar khup well educated dista.ajibat khachu naka.ayushyat jamte tewdhe posiitve pahat raha.kayam dusryachya adcahnit dhawa...bagha tumhala kadhich nirasha yenar nahi.aho mala hi ayushya barech shikwun gele...fakt majhe anubhaw wegle hote pn adchani hotyach naa...apan sanwad sadhla tar kahi bolu shaku.ok.bye
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Nvgole
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| | Wednesday, July 21, 2004 - 8:51 am: |
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svaITIÊ tuJao [qao svaagat AsaÜ.
2002 saalaI maaMDlaolyaa samasyaolaa Aata ]<ar do}na ivaXaoYa ]pyaÜga hÜlasao vaaTt naahI.
tuJaI mato maa~ tu [qao maaMDU Xaktosa.
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